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Carlee's Pregnancy
My Due Date: October 21, 2018I am postpartum » My due date was more than 2 weeks ago
Age: 40 years old
Location: France
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Need to rant!
By Carlee » Posted Feb. 17, 2018 3:30am - 152 views - 0 comments
I can't stop thinking about the father, my "husband". I'm so mad at him and his utterly deplorable attitude towards me, our relationship and our baby. I'm also mad at myself for marrying him and for getting pregnant. But then that's the difference between me and him, I recognise my mistakes, he doesn't. He blames "the situation" (that he chose btw), destiny or me.
Back in december he said he wanted a baby.
Now that I'm pregnant, he's more or less ignoring that fact and when I try to talk about it he says "do I have to talk about the baby all the time?"
I used to have faith in this "man", I used to love him. I gave him all I had and helped him get a new life here in France. In return he hardly even visited let alone moved in! We've been married almost 2 years and I've seen him about 5 times since. He doesn't even help financially. And he says I'm mean to him just because I'm angry at the way he treats me.
Last year, I almost divorced him but I had some technical difficulties with the paperwork. Then I decided to annul our mariage since it was only ever on paper and that would mean his papers would be taken away and he'd be kicked out of the country. That would only be justice. However, now I'm expecting our child, that's not an option.
I feel so alone and helpless. I keep thinking of all the drs appts alone and even giving birth alone.
I just cannot understand how a man can treat the woman he claims to "love more than anything" (his words) like he treats me.
Ironically, there was a time when I thought that if I were expecting his baby, he'd spend more time with me. Oh how wrong I was! I was so naive, lonely and desperate to be loved that I fell for his lies over and over. Despite knowing the truth deep down, I refused to listen to myself, if that makes sense. I've been a single mum for 6 years now and without my family and friends nearby for support, it's been tough. He took advantage of that.
I don't like being so negative but right now I need to get it out and I have nobody to talk to. Keeping it in would just make me ill.
My Journal
Need to rant!
By Carlee » Posted Feb. 17, 2018 3:30am - 152 views - 0 comments
I can't stop thinking about the father, my "husband". I'm so mad at him and his utterly deplorable attitude towards me, our relationship and our baby. I'm also mad at myself for marrying him and for getting pregnant. But then that's the difference between me and him, I recognise my mistakes, he doesn't. He blames "the situation" (that he chose btw), destiny or me.
Back in december he said he wanted a baby.
Now that I'm pregnant, he's more or less ignoring that fact and when I try to talk about it he says "do I have to talk about the baby all the time?"
I used to have faith in this "man", I used to love him. I gave him all I had and helped him get a new life here in France. In return he hardly even visited let alone moved in! We've been married almost 2 years and I've seen him about 5 times since. He doesn't even help financially. And he says I'm mean to him just because I'm angry at the way he treats me.
Last year, I almost divorced him but I had some technical difficulties with the paperwork. Then I decided to annul our mariage since it was only ever on paper and that would mean his papers would be taken away and he'd be kicked out of the country. That would only be justice. However, now I'm expecting our child, that's not an option.
I feel so alone and helpless. I keep thinking of all the drs appts alone and even giving birth alone.
I just cannot understand how a man can treat the woman he claims to "love more than anything" (his words) like he treats me.
Ironically, there was a time when I thought that if I were expecting his baby, he'd spend more time with me. Oh how wrong I was! I was so naive, lonely and desperate to be loved that I fell for his lies over and over. Despite knowing the truth deep down, I refused to listen to myself, if that makes sense. I've been a single mum for 6 years now and without my family and friends nearby for support, it's been tough. He took advantage of that.
I don't like being so negative but right now I need to get it out and I have nobody to talk to. Keeping it in would just make me ill.
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