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LyssaBugg's Pregnancy
My Due Date: I suffered a pregnancy lossAge: 34 years old
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I'm sorry.
By LyssaBugg » Posted Nov. 17, 2012 11:09am - 1060 views - 9 comments
Dear Piglet,
Words cannot say how sorry I am that I had to take you down with me. I hope you know how I tried looking for any other option. I considered denying treatment until you were here, even if it meant adopting you to a family so your dad wouldn't have to do it alone. I'm sorry that the doctors blamed you, saying how sometimes the hormone changes can occasionally cause rapid growth. I'm sorry I didn't get to hold you, name you, know you. I'm sorry I had to make a choice.
Please understand that this isn't what I wanted to do. But without treatment I only have 3 to 5 months, I couldn't even give you a good start in the world. That would be a hard three months, with the tumors location they believe I will soon loose muscle control in parts of my body, I may fall a lot. My whole personality, who I am, I can lose that. I only regret losing you.
If I could've gotten you farther along, I would've done that. Then your dad would have something. I do not envy what he is going through right now, and what he will be going through.
I have 6 weeks of intense treatment ahead of me. I've been told it will reduce symptoms, the tumor may shrink, I will have a few good months, and then. Well then it will all go down hill, and I'll be joining you. With treatment, I will be getting 6 months to a year.
They will be hard, I'll be saying goodbye to your dad, but after that, I finally get to say hello to you.
I'll be seeing you soon,
Mom
P.S. I love you.
My Journal - Page 2
I'm sorry.
By LyssaBugg » Posted Nov. 17, 2012 11:09am - 1060 views - 9 comments
Dear Piglet,
Words cannot say how sorry I am that I had to take you down with me. I hope you know how I tried looking for any other option. I considered denying treatment until you were here, even if it meant adopting you to a family so your dad wouldn't have to do it alone. I'm sorry that the doctors blamed you, saying how sometimes the hormone changes can occasionally cause rapid growth. I'm sorry I didn't get to hold you, name you, know you. I'm sorry I had to make a choice.
Please understand that this isn't what I wanted to do. But without treatment I only have 3 to 5 months, I couldn't even give you a good start in the world. That would be a hard three months, with the tumors location they believe I will soon loose muscle control in parts of my body, I may fall a lot. My whole personality, who I am, I can lose that. I only regret losing you.
If I could've gotten you farther along, I would've done that. Then your dad would have something. I do not envy what he is going through right now, and what he will be going through.
I have 6 weeks of intense treatment ahead of me. I've been told it will reduce symptoms, the tumor may shrink, I will have a few good months, and then. Well then it will all go down hill, and I'll be joining you. With treatment, I will be getting 6 months to a year.
They will be hard, I'll be saying goodbye to your dad, but after that, I finally get to say hello to you.
I'll be seeing you soon,
Mom
P.S. I love you.
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from nesssicle » Posted Nov. 17, 2012 12:15pm Oh lyssabug..this made me cry. I cannot imagine what you're going through. Ive seen the effects of a brain tumor on an old boyfriends mom and its absolutely heart breaking for every single person involved. I certainly do not have to right words to say, all i can say is that im sorry..and ill pray for you, your husband and your family... |
