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wotacutey's Pregnancy
My Due Date: March 8, 2013I am postpartum » My due date was more than 2 weeks ago
Age: 41 years old
Location: Sheffield, United Kingdom
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heads a mess
By wotacutey » Posted Jul. 23, 2012 3:25am - 223 views - 1 comment
My bf moved out on Saturday, it was horrible. I was fine until the point of him actually going out the door and then it hit me. I didnt stop crying for hours. My little girl was mopping up my tears with a bath towel. My ex couldnt understand why i was so affected by my bf leaving, he thought it was the start of us making a go of it. I went round there that night, tired and miserable and he took instant offence. In reality as soon as i walked in the door i had an anxiety attack and felt trapped. I sat with him and our daughter, and we couldnt feel less of a family. it didnt help that they sat there piggin out on crisps and donuts and fruit and cheese and i was so close to being sick! My ex snores and i mentioned that i wanted to go home to bed to sleep as i would actually get some rest there, if i slept at his i would have ended up on the couch listening to him snore through the floorboards. He instantly started accusing me of going home to meet my now exbf and got really offended that i wasnt staying. I jut needed to get out of there!
The next day we didnt want to let my daughter down so we still went out for the day, he spent whole way there going from begging to make it work and calling me all names under sun. We had fun while we were there but on way home i told him a few home truths.. i told him that before i started sleeping with him i was happy to marry my bf and it was us that was trying for a baby, and in my eyes sleeping with my ex was the biggest mistake of my life and i resented him and myself for that. I told him that he is insecure and jealous and i couldnt handle that. He told me to find out if baby was his and if not to get rid of it. We left in an atmosphere to say the least.
I dont know what i was thinking, he is a bossy controlling jealous and insecure person. Hes damaged! and now i'm stuck having his baby at the cost of my realtionship with my bf.. im so close to having an abortion
My Journal
heads a mess
By wotacutey » Posted Jul. 23, 2012 3:25am - 223 views - 1 comment
My bf moved out on Saturday, it was horrible. I was fine until the point of him actually going out the door and then it hit me. I didnt stop crying for hours. My little girl was mopping up my tears with a bath towel. My ex couldnt understand why i was so affected by my bf leaving, he thought it was the start of us making a go of it. I went round there that night, tired and miserable and he took instant offence. In reality as soon as i walked in the door i had an anxiety attack and felt trapped. I sat with him and our daughter, and we couldnt feel less of a family. it didnt help that they sat there piggin out on crisps and donuts and fruit and cheese and i was so close to being sick! My ex snores and i mentioned that i wanted to go home to bed to sleep as i would actually get some rest there, if i slept at his i would have ended up on the couch listening to him snore through the floorboards. He instantly started accusing me of going home to meet my now exbf and got really offended that i wasnt staying. I jut needed to get out of there!
The next day we didnt want to let my daughter down so we still went out for the day, he spent whole way there going from begging to make it work and calling me all names under sun. We had fun while we were there but on way home i told him a few home truths.. i told him that before i started sleeping with him i was happy to marry my bf and it was us that was trying for a baby, and in my eyes sleeping with my ex was the biggest mistake of my life and i resented him and myself for that. I told him that he is insecure and jealous and i couldnt handle that. He told me to find out if baby was his and if not to get rid of it. We left in an atmosphere to say the least.
I dont know what i was thinking, he is a bossy controlling jealous and insecure person. Hes damaged! and now i'm stuck having his baby at the cost of my realtionship with my bf.. im so close to having an abortion
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from mrsmommyl » Posted Jul. 23, 2012 4:17pm Do what you feel you need to do and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. My thoughts are with you. I would check to see if the baby is his. If it's not your ex's, and you plan on keeping it, try to make amends (if even possible) with the baby's father and limit your contact with your ex to stuff that's only related to your daughter. You'll be happier and healthier if you don't force yourself to deal with his ****. :) I'm in my second marriage, first child, and I was incredibly lucky to not have gotten pregnant with my ex's child. If I had, I can honestly and unashamedly say I wouldn't have kept it. He was an sociopath (literally) and he would have made my life and my baby's life unlivable. It's not something anyone - child or mother, should have to go through. You're in my thoughts. Good luck. |
