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kewtiful's Pregnancy
My Due Date: December 14, 2015I am postpartum » My due date was more than 2 weeks ago
Age: 38 years old
Location: Norwalk, United States
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Pregnancy is the worst time in my life....all over again....
By kewtiful » Posted Apr. 26, 2015 11:27pm - 476 views - 0 comments
So I am at a point where I feel like an awful person. My husband wanted to take it easy on his day off today and I told him he could. I let him nap, relax and watch his shows. Meanwhile I wasn't feeling spectacular today. My blood pressure dipped back down to 97/53. I was low energy and low spirits for much of today and I also didn't get enough sleep squeezed into the day. So I was a little cranky As the day rolled on I was more and more demanding, asking husband for small favors like bringing water, bringing my son here and there and etc. because I was feeling low energy and fatigued. Unfortunately this let to him not feeling appreciated as I was just laying around and he was the one who was supposed to be all of today. Sometimes I just feel bad if our son is tired of the play pen and wants a new play environment cause he's bored, so I am constantly taking him out and moving him around the room. So I went to the stores while son was taking his nap and cmoe home in a not too great mood, mostly b/c I was fatigued and exhausted from lugging heavy bags n this n that.
So I'm behind the couch while he's watching tv on it, just playing and making son laugh and son accidentally falls back while sitting because he's laughing so hard and he whacks head on couch. Immediately husbnad is concerned but I am already in control of situation. I take his concern and his pressuring me to tell him what happened too personally and view it as an attack on me and my skills with watching my son. Kids can get carried away and while he's still less than a year he is bound to hit his head. So he kept saying "what happened? what happened? I heard him whack his head hard" and I say "he's fine he was getting carried away" and under his pressuring me I snap and tell him " Please just leave now, you can just leave!!" and he snaps back and yells loud and storms off. He goes for a drive, comes back and tells me he's not cooking for us this week. Just after I spend 200 dollars on our groceries. And so I haven't a clue what will happen. I hate cooking so he does pretty much all of it and is amazing at it. Later in the night we argue more and I appologize and tell him that my hormones are making me into a horrible person. Also this is what I had always feared in having a kid, that having a kid would tear down the relatinoship and cause damage to it. Then he said we wouldn't be married if I didn't have a kid (which he denyed saying later on with strong defensiveness about it)....
Things are just completely out of sorts. I am going crazy not having a job and now I have these emotinoal blow ups and tired spells. This is why beng pregnant sucks completely and I didn't look forward to doing this every again. Sorry to be so harsh, but pregnancy is painful, harsh and damaging in so many ways. To a career, to a relationship, to raising a child....I really hate this.
My Journal
Pregnancy is the worst time in my life....all over again....
By kewtiful » Posted Apr. 26, 2015 11:27pm - 476 views - 0 comments
So I am at a point where I feel like an awful person. My husband wanted to take it easy on his day off today and I told him he could. I let him nap, relax and watch his shows. Meanwhile I wasn't feeling spectacular today. My blood pressure dipped back down to 97/53. I was low energy and low spirits for much of today and I also didn't get enough sleep squeezed into the day. So I was a little cranky As the day rolled on I was more and more demanding, asking husband for small favors like bringing water, bringing my son here and there and etc. because I was feeling low energy and fatigued. Unfortunately this let to him not feeling appreciated as I was just laying around and he was the one who was supposed to be all of today. Sometimes I just feel bad if our son is tired of the play pen and wants a new play environment cause he's bored, so I am constantly taking him out and moving him around the room. So I went to the stores while son was taking his nap and cmoe home in a not too great mood, mostly b/c I was fatigued and exhausted from lugging heavy bags n this n that.
So I'm behind the couch while he's watching tv on it, just playing and making son laugh and son accidentally falls back while sitting because he's laughing so hard and he whacks head on couch. Immediately husbnad is concerned but I am already in control of situation. I take his concern and his pressuring me to tell him what happened too personally and view it as an attack on me and my skills with watching my son. Kids can get carried away and while he's still less than a year he is bound to hit his head. So he kept saying "what happened? what happened? I heard him whack his head hard" and I say "he's fine he was getting carried away" and under his pressuring me I snap and tell him " Please just leave now, you can just leave!!" and he snaps back and yells loud and storms off. He goes for a drive, comes back and tells me he's not cooking for us this week. Just after I spend 200 dollars on our groceries. And so I haven't a clue what will happen. I hate cooking so he does pretty much all of it and is amazing at it. Later in the night we argue more and I appologize and tell him that my hormones are making me into a horrible person. Also this is what I had always feared in having a kid, that having a kid would tear down the relatinoship and cause damage to it. Then he said we wouldn't be married if I didn't have a kid (which he denyed saying later on with strong defensiveness about it)....
Things are just completely out of sorts. I am going crazy not having a job and now I have these emotinoal blow ups and tired spells. This is why beng pregnant sucks completely and I didn't look forward to doing this every again. Sorry to be so harsh, but pregnancy is painful, harsh and damaging in so many ways. To a career, to a relationship, to raising a child....I really hate this.
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