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Amarylis13's Pregnancy
My Due Date: September 27, 2014I have given birth!
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depression returning
By Amarylis13 » Posted Apr. 26, 2014 10:25pm - 244 views - 0 comments
I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. My hips ache, my boobs hurt. I have never enjoyed a baby bump. If I could lay an egg and never have to deal with pregnancy I would be very happy. I'm not even half way done yet and I hate my body. I hate how I looked before, how thin I was. I hate when I weigh "the right amount" my thighs rub together. I hate how I can count my ribs right now. I hate how huge my stomach is. I finally dress and feel confident and my mom has to go and call me a slapper, basically british slang for a slut. I hate my body and I don't think I will ever be happy with it. I know if I gain more weight I'm going to be getting comments from my mom on my ass, because that's where I put weight on. I'm not happy, I don't feel confident, I don't feel pretty. I'm just some fugly skeleton with a huge gut. I know I'm supposed to eat. I hate myself for not eating but I don't deserve to eat. I don't do anything during the day. I don't even know why my husband is with me, his exs are so much prettier than I will ever be. I don't know why I am wasting time in therapy. I will never love myself. I will never like myself. The most I can ever do is just make sure I wake up in the morning for the sake of my children.
My Journal
depression returning
By Amarylis13 » Posted Apr. 26, 2014 10:25pm - 244 views - 0 comments
I hate how I look. I hate how I feel. My hips ache, my boobs hurt. I have never enjoyed a baby bump. If I could lay an egg and never have to deal with pregnancy I would be very happy. I'm not even half way done yet and I hate my body. I hate how I looked before, how thin I was. I hate when I weigh "the right amount" my thighs rub together. I hate how I can count my ribs right now. I hate how huge my stomach is. I finally dress and feel confident and my mom has to go and call me a slapper, basically british slang for a slut. I hate my body and I don't think I will ever be happy with it. I know if I gain more weight I'm going to be getting comments from my mom on my ass, because that's where I put weight on. I'm not happy, I don't feel confident, I don't feel pretty. I'm just some fugly skeleton with a huge gut. I know I'm supposed to eat. I hate myself for not eating but I don't deserve to eat. I don't do anything during the day. I don't even know why my husband is with me, his exs are so much prettier than I will ever be. I don't know why I am wasting time in therapy. I will never love myself. I will never like myself. The most I can ever do is just make sure I wake up in the morning for the sake of my children.
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