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prinder's Pregnancy
My Due Date: January 12, 2015I have given birth!
Age: 38 years old
Location: Norwich, United Kingdom
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Nope, still mad
By prinder » Posted Jul. 5, 2014 7:37am - 303 views - 4 comments
So my MIL isn't the most charming of creatures, and my SIL has been a bit irritating as well as of late. I've tried letting it go, but it's been a couple of weeks now and I'm still mad about it all so here it goes:
SIL doesn't want me touching or playing with her almost-one year old. She is off the opinion that I'm too rough; citing that I left a crescent-shaped mark with my finger-nail on the child's body through her heavily padded snowsuit one night when I was giving her a quick cuddle before they left. Also because, more recently, I was playing with the child by tossing some coloured, thin, soft, plastic balls (the kind they use in baby ball-pools, if you need a reference), I didn't even hit the child with one. The kid has gotten more bumps and thumps from the TLC of SIL/MIL than me (though I haven't bothered to point that one out, mind; I've held my tongue about it), but what the heck, fine: I'm the rough one. Whatever.
I'm honouring her request and staying the freak away from her child, but the whole thing has me irritated. I'm the only one not allowed to have anything to do with the child, and I haven't even done anything wrong.
Insult to injury is that, on top of this, my MIL has been fat-shaming me while I've been pregnant. "She has to get out and be active," she told DH one day, "or she's going to get fat." Without even asking if I'm being active or what my weight gain has been in the first place. She bases all of this on assumptions on her part and I honestly can't decide which is worse: the fact that she's suggested that a woman who is pregnant should be fixating on her weight over the health of her/the baby, or the fact that she's not even bothered to ASK what I'm doing or how I'm doing FIRST.
And maybe it's the hormones talking (though I really doubt it, I'd be P.O.'d over this before I was pregnant, too), but I swear I want to break things over it and that emotion hasn't lessoned in the slightest since the infringements occurred.
My Journal
Nope, still mad
By prinder » Posted Jul. 5, 2014 7:37am - 303 views - 4 comments
So my MIL isn't the most charming of creatures, and my SIL has been a bit irritating as well as of late. I've tried letting it go, but it's been a couple of weeks now and I'm still mad about it all so here it goes:
SIL doesn't want me touching or playing with her almost-one year old. She is off the opinion that I'm too rough; citing that I left a crescent-shaped mark with my finger-nail on the child's body through her heavily padded snowsuit one night when I was giving her a quick cuddle before they left. Also because, more recently, I was playing with the child by tossing some coloured, thin, soft, plastic balls (the kind they use in baby ball-pools, if you need a reference), I didn't even hit the child with one. The kid has gotten more bumps and thumps from the TLC of SIL/MIL than me (though I haven't bothered to point that one out, mind; I've held my tongue about it), but what the heck, fine: I'm the rough one. Whatever.
I'm honouring her request and staying the freak away from her child, but the whole thing has me irritated. I'm the only one not allowed to have anything to do with the child, and I haven't even done anything wrong.
Insult to injury is that, on top of this, my MIL has been fat-shaming me while I've been pregnant. "She has to get out and be active," she told DH one day, "or she's going to get fat." Without even asking if I'm being active or what my weight gain has been in the first place. She bases all of this on assumptions on her part and I honestly can't decide which is worse: the fact that she's suggested that a woman who is pregnant should be fixating on her weight over the health of her/the baby, or the fact that she's not even bothered to ASK what I'm doing or how I'm doing FIRST.
And maybe it's the hormones talking (though I really doubt it, I'd be P.O.'d over this before I was pregnant, too), but I swear I want to break things over it and that emotion hasn't lessoned in the slightest since the infringements occurred.
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from prinder » Posted Jul. 6, 2014 3:03am Thanks for the support, everyone; I think I needed it. For the time being, DH and I are keeping a bit more mental/emotional if not physical distance from them. It upsets FIL some on account that he feels as though he's being punished (he's one of the few people who likes me in DH's family) for the actions of the others - which I can admit is a but unfair, but he isn't exactly standing up for us, either, so I have to acknowledge that if he isn't part of the solution he's also a part of the problem. Point being, we're hoping it all blows over, though I'm somewhat irritated that MIL is now harping on and sending other members of the family (the BILs, namely) to "convince" me to let her buy things for the baby - which I must note is something I never told her she couldn't do, she's gotten it in her head all on her own. So ugh, drama. |
 | Comment from Mmkohl » Posted Jul. 5, 2014 9:50pm I would def not let my SIL near my child and would tell my MIL to worry about her own weight and not mine! I've learned that if you let things go they will reoccur. You have to stand up for yourself if you want it to stop. My inlaws suck bg time so I completely understand where you are coming from! |
 | Comment from jennavee » Posted Jul. 5, 2014 7:27pm dang girl!! I hope you don't plan on letting SIL touch your baby! And I think it sucks that MIL is saying those things. Screw her! Nobody needs her opinion! |
 | Comment from Sianny » Posted Jul. 5, 2014 5:13pm I'd be PO too! My mother told me I couldn't have a doughnut at the fair because I'd get fat like last time. In my defence I did put on 3 stone AFTER my son was born as I went from a super active job to at home almost all day everyday. Stay strong. I'd say hash it out with them but that could cause extra stress. |
