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hughes1864's Pregnancy
My Due Date: April 24, 2015I have given birth!
Age: 41 years old
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Failure
By hughes1864 » Posted Apr. 25, 2015 1:28am - 478 views - 2 comments
I'm now one day past my due date and while I've been "in labor" since Wednesday I'm showing no progress toward actual delivery. I feel like such a failure. First I failed for 3 years to get pregnant and now I'm failing to actually deliver a baby. My body has no idea what it is doing. I was induced with baby #1 and now that things are being allowed to progress naturally I'm totally lost. I'm so scared, I feel so alone. I won't see my doctor again until Thursday which will put me at 40+6. What if something happens before then? They aren't really monitoring me, or concerned, because I"m low risk. I've already had a healthy baby so they are not concerned. No one seems to understand I've never done THIS before. With baby number 1 by this point I had a one week old! I've let everyone down. My mom and MIL are both waiting on go and I can't tell them it is time because my body won't work! My MIL is already been bugging me for his SSN, something about a savings account, HE HASN'T EVEN BEEN BORN YET!! Seriously!? I'm starting to feel like this isn't going to happen, ever. I want to start returning everything we've gotten for him because why? I can't do this.
My Journal
Failure
By hughes1864 » Posted Apr. 25, 2015 1:28am - 478 views - 2 comments
I'm now one day past my due date and while I've been "in labor" since Wednesday I'm showing no progress toward actual delivery. I feel like such a failure. First I failed for 3 years to get pregnant and now I'm failing to actually deliver a baby. My body has no idea what it is doing. I was induced with baby #1 and now that things are being allowed to progress naturally I'm totally lost. I'm so scared, I feel so alone. I won't see my doctor again until Thursday which will put me at 40+6. What if something happens before then? They aren't really monitoring me, or concerned, because I"m low risk. I've already had a healthy baby so they are not concerned. No one seems to understand I've never done THIS before. With baby number 1 by this point I had a one week old! I've let everyone down. My mom and MIL are both waiting on go and I can't tell them it is time because my body won't work! My MIL is already been bugging me for his SSN, something about a savings account, HE HASN'T EVEN BEEN BORN YET!! Seriously!? I'm starting to feel like this isn't going to happen, ever. I want to start returning everything we've gotten for him because why? I can't do this.
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from Alice_Wonderer » Posted Apr. 25, 2015 2:00am I'm sorry you feel so lost... I can imagine you are scared, not knowing what will happen or what to do... But you're definitely not a failure!! And it is physically impossible that it will never happen :-) Your son will be in your arms soon! But I understand you feel so frustrated and lost. Hang in there, several women I know have gone past their due date, some even for 2 weeks. It's nothing unusual, but I understand you would rather just have the baby right now instead of waiting and not knowing when it will happen... This journey seems all about waiting: waiting to get pregnant, waiting for ovulation, countless TWWs, waiting for your lab results, waiting for your first ultrasound, waiting for the start of the second trimester etc... But this is the FINAL wait, you're almost at the finish line!!! I know you will make it!!!! Good luck!!!! |
 | Comment from rcorinne » Posted Apr. 25, 2015 1:53am Aww you poor thing! It WILL happen. I was induced with baby #1 as well, so I share some of your fears, but please don't dismay. Your doc will not let you go too long, and you will see your baby soon. I'm sorry you feel like a failure. You are not one. You are a strong, low-risk (hurray!), beautiful, pregnant mom. Hold on, honey. You'll do great, no matter if you go into "active" labor naturally or with Pitocin. YOU GOT THIS!!! |
