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Wish I could stop being so damned negative, i'm tired!
By zuzudanni » Posted Apr. 27, 2012 4:31pm - 196 views - 5 comments

Ok so i'm nearly into my 5th week and I can't help but panic every few minutes! Even after getting my 4 weeks blood results yesterday and being thrilled, now the shine seems to have faded away and i'm back to stressing out. I'm so emotionally exhausted and I am not even half way through the first trimester yet!! just wish I could go to sleep then wake up on my 12 weeks scan and them saying everything looks great so I can actually enjoy the fact that I am growing a baby inside me. My DH, SIL and mother are all leave it to God kind of people and "if it happens it happens" which feels cold and emotionless. With them all thinking this way it seems either i'm being an idiot or they just don't care either way. This leaves me with no one to talk it through with as I don't want to announce it just yet and even then EVERYTHING people say to try and comfort me goes in one ear and out the other because i'm thinking "what the hell do you know, are you God!?" Also doesn't help that my GP yesterday seemed concerned that I have not had full blown morning sickness yet... I mean come on i'm still in my 4th week its normal for me not to be that sick just yet! But since he said it I have been over analyzing it all thinking maybe he wasn't so happy with my beta levels or something. GRRRR stupid dr's!

So there is my little rant and sorry if you had to sit through reading that but I really needed to vent and know someone has heard me... so sick of talking to myself and turning into a crazy person.

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from zuzudanni » Posted Apr. 28, 2012 6:59pm hehe yeh my family think i'm crazy to be wishing for the full blown morning sickness but to me it's my way of having a little reassurance... Good luck to you and your new years baby... My daughter was also due new years but ended up having to be induced a month early lol so maybe I will get a real new years bubba this time round :)
	Comment from swarmka » Posted Apr. 28, 2012 10:35am I am due the same day as you! This is my first pregnancy, so I really don't know what to expect, but I can tell you that I haven't had any morning sickness yet. It kind of bums me out, too. I laughed when I read your post about being happy you felt nauseous! I am actually looking forward to that too! So far my only real symptom was that I felt incredibly bloated for 2 days (last Mon-Tues). I figured out that I need to eat smaller meals throughout the day, and I'm feeling good now. But, now I don't feel any symptoms at all. I wish I did... Well, I hope we both have happy, healthy babies! Good luck to you!
	Comment from zuzudanni » Posted Apr. 28, 2012 1:47am And I also had MS with both my previous pregnancies even last month with my miscarriage I had MS for a few days then went away all of a sudden
	Comment from zuzudanni » Posted Apr. 28, 2012 1:40am As I said I am very negative... it's a defense mechanism... I expect the worst so I can avoid much of the disappointment and hurt that I would get if something did not work out favorably for me. :( And as for the doppler I do plan on getting one but I am only 4 and a half weeks along so its way to early for one to pick up anything.
	Comment from tgreene » Posted Apr. 27, 2012 7:27pm Why are ypu panicking? Not everyone has morning sickness. In the first trimester your hormones are running like crazy and it will soon get better i use to worry because i lost two babies but i learned that sometimes we just cant worry all the time stress isn't good for pregnant women to ease some of your worries you can always buy a home doppler to listen in on the babies heartbeat