Answered by a member - Nov. 6, 2012 2:30pm
I can totally understand what your saying.. other than the alcohol or more the lying about the alcohol everything else with you's is well? Ive also been with my DF since 2008, its a long time isnt it? If he's going to be a great father and he is a great DH then I cant see why you's can sort things out. What about another long chat and maybe just express to him that your happy with him maybe going out once a week and he's okay to have a drink but not get intoxicated? Anymore than that and you cant comprimise? Or something like that.. I dont think if he's going to be a good dad then theres any reason for you to leave unless you are unhappy? I didnt have my father growing up due to drugs and it sucks! At the end of the day, lying to you and making you feel sad just isnt on so something has to change. I know you aleady now this though, maybe he's not wanting to tell you he's drinking again because he doesnt want to upset you? Xxx
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Answered by a member - Nov. 6, 2012 2:21pm
WEve been together since 2008 and he drank heavily up our entire relationship until this year. I know it wasn't easy for him to quit, and I was so proud of him for quitting cold turkey. We have had a lot of talks resently and I know it really is just starting to hit him that we really are having a baby. And other than him going out on The weekends (and drinking?) he has been a great boyfriend to me. I have no doubts that he will be a good dad. But the point is is that he's not only lying to me, but he's lying to me about something he knows is a deal breaker at this point. Or maybe I'm not giving him enough slack? I don't know. If he is drinking again is not directly hindering our relationship, but I still don't think I should let it slide. I just wish I knew what the right thing to do is.
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Answered by a member - Nov. 6, 2012 2:12pm
First of all sweety, im so sorry you are going through this at 39 weeks pregnant! Your DH should not be putting this stress on you. Second of all, you should NOT feel ashamed, this is not your fault. Third of all there is nothing in this world that he could possibly say to make what he's doing to you and his unborn baby okay because its not. What I would personally do is not as much confront him as you don't need the stress of an argument but I would talk to him. Explain to him that unless he bucks up, you and baby are out of there. Im really sorry to have to say this but he really should care more for his baby and for you. On the other hand, he may have a drinking problem? Maybe the stress of becoming a father is to much for him and alcohol is a way out of having to think about it? Your baby deserves a loving father, not an alcoholic. Im so sorry you are feeling so crushed sweety, its such a sad situation to be in days before giving birth to your little one. I wish you luck. xx
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Answered by a member - Nov. 6, 2012 2:04pm
Continued.. He received a text this morning and I answered his phone for him. His friend had text him and said he bought him a bottle of booze and wanted him to come hang out this weekend. Also there was another text he sent a different friend saying 'let's get drunk this weekend'. Wtf?! Which makes me assume he's been drinking lately. I didn't say anything to him this morning becuase I was crushed. I'm due in a week and he's hiding this stuff from me, I just feel so ashamed. Should I just leave him now, while its easier than not wanting to after the baby is here? Should I confront him and let him try to explain himself? Is there really anything he can say that would make what he's done okay?
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