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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Q: Husband lies....

Okay. I need opinions. My husband was a TERRIBLE man in EVERY relationship he ever had before me. We were friends for a year before we dated and dated/lived together a year before we married. He told me all the bad things about himself when we were friends. Now fast forward. I have caught my husband in many lies, deceptive things. He knows my feelings about things so last month to assure me that he is not the man he stopped putting lock on his cell phone and gave me what he said was the password to his two email accounts. Well I have found that he did not give me pw to his main email account only his ebay account & I have discovered an additional email account. I confronted him & he says its his PERSONAL life & not my business. Well forgive me but I have no locks on anything and correct me if I am wrong but is our PERSONAL lives not supposed to be joined? I have nothing to hide so I hide nothing. Considering his past and the constant half truths am I justified in my anger?

This question was asked Jun. 11, 2012 9:43pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answers (14)

Answered by KuntriGirl - Jul. 13, 2012 4:44am

A cheater can change for the right person. I know when I was young(16-22), I did not care who I hurt and I did cheat, but now I only want my guy. I am only with one man, who I love dearly. He is not a open book like me. I have not asked for his passwords. I respect his privacy. But I know in my heart he has never cheated on me. I do know he is a huge flirt and I am okay with that. He can look and flirt as long as he never goes further than that. I can do the same.
My last relationship was terrible. He lied to me and swore I was his only gf. But he had others and then I knew in my heart he wasn't being faithful. You have to make the decision for yourself on whether to stay in the relationship or to get out of it. You know your relationship better than any of us!!
You have to decide for yourself. Has he changed his ways or is it the same old same.

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Answered by bls1983 - Jun. 12, 2012 6:00pm

My fiance' and I have been together almost 2 years now. He has lied about a few things and I honestly thought he was cheating on me or at least talking to other women. He lies about things like money or things he does or doesn't do. I was really bothered by this since I am an open-book to him and have no problem letting him into my life 100% and have never lied to him. Then, I got to know his mother. That explained a whole lot. She suffocates our relationship and did the same to him growing up so he never had a choice but to lie to her. She has no trust or faith in people, especially her own son. Because of this, he has just got in the habit of having to lie to her to keep some part of his personal life his own. Remind you, he is 29 years old and she is worse than ever. Fortunately, we have gone to therapy a few times and it has helped tremendously. That trust is slowly building back up. Both parties have to be willing to work at it though. Good Luck and God Bless!

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Answered by knicole27 - Jun. 11, 2012 10:35pm

oh also.. ALWAYS trust your gut instinct. I have found in all my relationships it has been correct. If it feels wrong in the pit of your stomach .. it is.

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Answered by a member - Jul. 13, 2012 11:17am

Well I am happy to share that he was not being unfaithful. We had a long conversation about why I had the insecurities I did and he knowing my past understood. We have cleared up all issues that were in question and I vowed to myself & him to believe in him and not lay yesterdays luggage on his lap. Thank you for all your input & for the record, I also believe people can change. If not then there would be no reason for counselors, ministers, the Bible, school or a punishment outside the death penalty. People change when they have a reason to & sincerely want it for themselves. :-) God knows I have changed much over my life time!

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Answered by a member - Jun. 11, 2012 10:45pm

I have never gone thru his phone but I have caught him texting girls who he claims are his cousins but when he clicks the screen off or when you are near sheilds the screen especially with his past you can'thelp but to wonder. This is the only issue I am having. Thing is he DID give me the passcode to all last month & now all the sudden its changed. I did not even look in the emails when I had code just opened to see if it was code since he told me to change all my PW 2 the same so we would always know...I told him he tells half truths & lies by omission & I am sorry but if you will lie about stupid things how can I trust you with big things? I have been screwed over in EVERY relationship & I am NOT going to put up with it. He can deny but I feel the truth so I am gunna do what I hv 2 do 2 get what I hv 2 get and if I get proof I'm so curious as to what his defense will be? Tired of Mr. Christian 1 minute & liar the next. Lukewarm.let me find it & I will spit h

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Answered by 14npregnant - Jun. 11, 2012 10:32pm

Well there is something in there he dont want you to know and once a cheater always a cheater. Cheater dont change they just find new ways to lie ok

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Answered by a member - Jun. 11, 2012 10:58pm

oh I am not pregnant but I had a MC but now I am NOT wanting to ttc again until I get to the bottom of this. I cannot STAND a liar & I am now thinking THIS is why God took my baby. He knows what I went through with my X husband. I KNOW he is hiding something and I have NEVER been wrong about my gut instinct EVER.

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Answered by a member - Jun. 11, 2012 10:48pm

I in no way think he is having a physical relationship but I think he IS flirting etc and this he would NOT tolerate from me. I told him to fess up & if that's the way he wants our marriage to be as long as I can play by the rules he set I am good. I told him that ANYTHING he could do I could match EASILY!

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Answered by knicole27 - Jun. 11, 2012 10:28pm

I don't even wanna go there as it may sound rude but.. you say you knew he was a terrible man in every relationship before you? ... red flags all over that. So yeah I would say your justified. I do however think people can change and I am open to trusting. I am not one to say "once a cheater always a cheater" because i have been in a situation where cheated on once but i had to look at myself and how i was treating him because it was out of his character to do such a thing but.. this sounds like this is in character for lies etc. If a marriage is going to work you need to be able to trust 100%.. not 90% not 95% not even 99.9%... 100%.

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Answered by KimSurls - Feb. 19, 2014 10:24am

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