Questions & Answers

I told my 6 yr old daughter beginning of this year, i just told her that she had a father who lived away and he couldnt be a propa daddy but he loves you and the man you call dad isnt really your dad but loves you just as much as if he were, she understood and i keep reminding her who her real father is but daddy loves you, i never want to lie to my children and think theres no right time to tell a child this sort of information but it is easier when they young as they will grow up knowing the truth. Hope this helps hun its never gonna be easy telling your baby something like this but the thought of my daughter hating me for hiding the truth hurt more x

These sayings may be old, but I believe in them to the fullest due to personal experience.
"Any man can be a dad, but it takes a real man to be a father."
And one thing my friends and I have always said is blood doesn't make you family. You can have people related to you by blood who don't give two s**ts about you, but a friend or spouse who would give their life for you. The people who love you just as much, if not more than you love them are family. Obviously your daughter is too young to understand either one of these, but if this topic should ever come up again in the future years as she starts discovering who she is, they'll probably help.

thanks so much. thats exactly what i fear may happen! i would love to protect her from it for her entire life, to protect her from the pain of it but sadly i just cant stop everyone else from saying something about it. i am planning on telling her soon, so that its normal from a young age. thanks everyone

Oh, and I just wanted to add to my post (right below) that the only reason my mom finally told me at 13 was because other family members let it slip, so she was forced to. Knowing that made it even worse, just the thought that she was probably planning to lie to me my whole life. This is your daughter's life and she deserves to know the truth. Please think about this and do the right thing.

I totally agree with NewYearsBBy2013, Maggie22, and Layne-Shane - PLEASE TELL YOUR DAUGHTER THE TRUTH NOW!!! It will be so much better for her in the long run to know early. I know bc this happened to me and my mom did not tell me until I was 13 yrs old and I felt very deceived and deeply hurt that they lied to me about my own life. To this day, it has affected my ability to trust people and it permanently damaged my relationship with my mom. Please tell her the truth, she will love you so much more for it and it will not take anything away from her love for your DH.

I do not know my biological father, my parents never told me either, I found out when I was 15 and saw that my birth cert. didnt have a dads name on there. I was really hurt because they did not tell me. But I was old enough to understand. The dad I do know has been there since my mom was pregnant with me. I think it's best you tell her, before she finds out from someone else... explain the situation to where she can understand. My daughter is 4 and she knows she has 2 daddys. She spends more time with her step dad because her real father is just too busy for her...I tell her that she blessed because she has more ppl that love her, and it makes her even more special. Maybe just telling her god blessed her with two daddys, but her first daddy decided that she needed two daddys so more people could enjoy having her in their life.

A woman I know has spent a lot of money on a psychologist, so that she could address this same issue with her 6 year old. Since this is a problem I am also going to have to deal with in the coming years, I was all ears when she told me how the psychologist told her to handle it with her 6 year old.

Saying "there are two kinds of dads, the ones that are here for you and take care of you everyday, and the ones that are not here and you do not know" "you have 2 dads, one dad that isnt here and you don't know, and one daddy that you know and love who takes care of you".

My oldest is 18 and her father gave up rights to her when she was 3 and my youngest's father walked out 4 years ago when he was 3. At the age of 6 she is really not mature enough to understand. You need to wait until she gets older. You need to talk to your family and ensure that nothing is said until you feel the time is right and she can understand. My youngest is now 7. He says he used to have a daddy but he is gone now. My daughter has had some issues because she knew and always felt abanonded by him. She did not have someone to step into that place except my Dad. She called her Bio Father when she was 16 and was absolutely heart broken because he refused to answer any of her questions. This is not something that has to be done now, you truely need to wait until she can comprehend and understand. If you need to talk more, you are more than welcome to message me.

The truth should always be told to children!! Otherwise you will find that it will come back to haunt you later on in life and she may hate you for keeping a secret from her. Also that is her history and she has a right to know the truth. The younger you tell a child something like this the more accepting of the fact she will be. You dont need to be sad or feel sorry for her when you tell her, you just need to tell her in an age appropriate and matter of fact way. You dont need to go into great detail about it, she will ask questions if she wants to and when she is ready. It is much easier to break this type of news to a child then a teenager with hormones.
I give you this advice because this happened to me as a child. My father left me and i was raised by another man. But i was always told the truth, and i was much younger when i was told. Mum said i didnt even care lol. And i didnt care because i was loved and happy.

id just explain by blood hes not her real dad but by heart he is and the one who raises u is the one that counts and as she gets older explain in more detail :)