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Category: Newly Pregnant

Asked by bonitta

Q: Mommies, I need all of you to enlighten my mind with your heartwarming advice for me.

Mommies, I'm 20, I tried to abort this fetus at 5 weeks but I didn't bleed. I regret what I did because I really didn't want to do it, I was just scared and not ready. I'm still pregnant at 8 weeks now, I heard my baby's heartbeat at 141 bpm and is growing its size which was the most special thing I ever known. I'm still worried of how can this affect my future and my life especially that the father of this baby is not talking to me anymore, how can I still succeed having a baby, would it destroy my career and life? My MIND says not to keep the baby because it will destroy my entire life but my HEART says keep the baby and even though I'll have ups and downs with it, this baby will give me priceless happiness I could ever have. My family supports me, are excited, wants me to keep the baby, they are all praying for the baby's healthy and normal life in the future. Please enlighten me with your heartwarming advice. Is continuing my pregnancy at 20 a good thing even as a single mom?Thanks

This question was asked Jan. 30, 2014 3:28am
Category: Newly Pregnant

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Answers (12)

Answered by acrichton - Jan. 30, 2014 8:56pm

My best friend was 17 when she got pregnant, she finished high school at 8 months pregnant and even went to her prom. She is now 30, her daughter is 12, and she recently married the love of her life and they are going to work on her second baby soon!!! As long as you have a supportive family, you and baby will be fine!

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Answered by FebBabyx - Jan. 30, 2014 10:55pm

Hi honey - I'm writing to you with first hand experience. I was 18 when I first found out I was pregnant with my little girl who is one next week and is the most beautiful, most important person in my life. I was scared but had my family and my partners support. I did it and I wouldn't regret it for the world. I'm now coming 21 and I'm pregnant with my second (to the same dad - we have been together 6 years and planned both children) and I could not be happier. Yes I'm young but so what? Being a mother isn't about age it's about loving and taking care of your children no matter what. I'm 20 and my partner is 21. My plan has always been to have both my children close in age then get back to my career full time which i have already started by studying at college for 2 years. You can do this. You will be an amazing mother. You can feel free to message me anytime as we are the same age it might be helpful for you. Good luck xx

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Answered by Angela18 - Jan. 30, 2014 3:56am

God has blessed you and is obviously sending you a message! It's a tough life lesson to learn, but it's always my belief to take responsibility for your actions. It's going to be hard, but is it fair to not give this little one a chance, especially after you've tried once to abort? You have your family, and your life as you have it now, is and should change, but this is a part of you and I promise that you will not look back and regret keeping this baby if you have a good heart. I was 24 my first pregnancy, with my boyfriend (now DH) only 3 months, on the verge of divorce to another man, and working at Hooters traveling across country opening restaurants having a blast! We found out pretty early on (after being devastated that I was pregnant) that our child would most likely have Down Syndrome. I could have aborted, but I chose life, and aside from my hubby, he's the best thing that has happened to us. This may be a miracle in your life worth fighting for. Message me anytime

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Answered by jennavee - Jan. 30, 2014 2:11pm

You've obviously got a fighter in your tummy! I urge you to consider adoption if you feel like you're not ready to be a parent. So many couples are just longing to love a little one, and it's totally understandable if you don't feel like this is right for you at this time. Adoption can be the "best of both worlds" for you and your child. It's fought so hard to stay here!
I won't sugar-coat it, having a child changes everything. Your priorities, your plans, your schedule, etc. If you're ready for that kind of thing, it's an absolutely wonderful change! If you aren't, you may still learn to adjust and share your life with your child, or you may resent the change. It's a VERY personal decision that only you can make. I highly recommend seeking a counselor to talk this through though.
My prayers are with you!

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Answered by bonitta - Feb. 3, 2014 1:25am

Hello Mommies. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, advice and encouragement to me. Last Saturday ( Feb.1, 2013), I went to my OB/GYN for her to read my blood tests because my hemoglobin, hematocrit and red blood cells were a bit lower than the normal, so she advised me to take an iron vitamins throughout my pregnancy, she also did an ultrasound to me, the fetus is good inside and the heartbeat was 169 beats per minute. I couldn't do an adoption for my baby so I decided to be a single mom, my family supports me a lot although they were somehow disappointed of that I got pregnant at an early age.

Some of you were lucky because even though you got pregnant at an early age you're or hubby were there on you sides but in my case, he just told me he'll be there for me and for the baby but since he left to another place, he never communicated and even blocked me on Facebook, I'm still struggling and he left me hanging. We didn't broke up, he just disappeared and left me with his words.

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Answered by tasha* - Jan. 30, 2014 7:52am

Awwwww I was 17 when I had my first and wouldn't change it for the world!! Only you can make this decision but believe me it sounds as if you have a wonderful support network. It won't destroy your career, it will just delay it for a little while. Good luck for the future. We are all here for you xx

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Answered by gotababylady - Feb. 3, 2014 1:36am

Bonnita I think you are doing the right thing for you and your baby. I don't even know you but I am very proud of you. I have prayed for you and your little one from the moment you shared your story. Adoption is defiantly a hard choice and I can understand you not being able to go though it. I think you are already on track to becoming a good mom. When you needed help you sought answers and turned to your family for support. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Have a happy and healthy 9 months !!

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Answered by Queenmommy0914 - Jan. 30, 2014 5:35pm

I was 19 when I had my baby girl. I was scared. Both sides of my family were supportive and helped me through it. When I first heard my baby girl's heart-beat, I cried :) There was a little baby that needed me! Being a mommy is tough and my little girl is very strong-willed like me! She is also beautiful, smart, and silly. She is a human being and I always thought of my baby like that even when she was as tiny as a speck. When she says, "Mommy I love you" and gives me a hug, I thank God that he has given me this little girl.

Week 8: Baby's eyes are visible

"Eight weeks into your pregnancy, or six weeks after conception, your baby's arms and legs are growing longer, and fingers have begun to form. The shell-shaped parts of your baby's ears also are forming, and your baby's eyes are visible. The upper lip and nose have formed. The trunk of your baby's body is beginning to straighten."

Your baby's heart is beating. She is a human being. She is a blessing <

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Answered by 1stTimerTMG - Feb. 17, 2014 4:34am

I just want to encourage you. Hard times have a way of bringing out the strength in women. You are STRONGER THAN YOU THINK! Believe in yourself, and don't let NOBODY tell you that anything can completely stop you for accomplishing anything you Really want to do. Baby does not equal career assassination, dream killer, or any of that. We all have things we are going to be up against, so HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT? If one perwon can do it, you can too. Keep the negativity away, and push yourself. I am praying for you, and you make the decision you can sleep at night with. Much love my sister. Be blessed.

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Answered by mrsamanda - Jan. 30, 2014 5:50pm

My best friend in high school got pregnant when we were about to turn 16. Can you imagine, 15 and pregnant? She kept the baby and went on to finish school and now at the age of 25 has 2 kids and a job and is a single mom, living in her own house, driving her own car. You can do anything you put your mind to. It sounds like you have a good heart, and you already know in your heart what you really want to do. If you have a supportive family, who needs a man? There are plenty of single moms out there whose kids are living wonderful, happy, full lives.

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