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ericalee's Pregnancy
My Due Date: December 1, 2016I have given birth!
Age: 41 years old
Location: Madison, United States
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No heartbeat
By ericalee » Posted Oct. 15, 2015 7:52am - 864 views - 22 comments
Our world was shattered yesterday. We went for my growth ultrasound and my OB was again having a hard time getting a good picture of the baby, which we ran into last time as well. This time, I had a bad feeling because I didn't even see a little flashing heartbeat like last time. I got sent to the hospital for a second ultrasound on better machines and I lay there a long time, just me and the u/s tech while she was trying to take measurements. I knew that it wasn't good... There was no flashing light... no mention of a heartbeat. The one size measurement she got was only 6w2d... which is smaller than last time and very far off from where I should be.
After a very long wait, I was told to go back to my OB's office, which wasn't possible because I needed to pick up my daughter from daycare. I called her office and talking to a nurse, letting them know the situation and that I expected to hear bad news. I asked if they could call me instead. My OB called about 10 minutes later and told me what I was expecting... the baby was gone....
I'm pretty numb. It doesn't seem real. I thought we had made it over the hump. We saw a great heartbeat, great growth, etc. My immune numbers were looking good. I am just at such a loss.
Now I wait. I'm opting to see if my body will start the process on its own. Then we have to avoid for a month to have one regular cycle before we can try again. I just can't believe this is happening again. I really wanted my miscarriage count to end at 5... and now I need to hope 6 is where it ends..
My Journal
No heartbeat
By ericalee » Posted Oct. 15, 2015 7:52am - 864 views - 22 comments
Our world was shattered yesterday. We went for my growth ultrasound and my OB was again having a hard time getting a good picture of the baby, which we ran into last time as well. This time, I had a bad feeling because I didn't even see a little flashing heartbeat like last time. I got sent to the hospital for a second ultrasound on better machines and I lay there a long time, just me and the u/s tech while she was trying to take measurements. I knew that it wasn't good... There was no flashing light... no mention of a heartbeat. The one size measurement she got was only 6w2d... which is smaller than last time and very far off from where I should be.
After a very long wait, I was told to go back to my OB's office, which wasn't possible because I needed to pick up my daughter from daycare. I called her office and talking to a nurse, letting them know the situation and that I expected to hear bad news. I asked if they could call me instead. My OB called about 10 minutes later and told me what I was expecting... the baby was gone....
I'm pretty numb. It doesn't seem real. I thought we had made it over the hump. We saw a great heartbeat, great growth, etc. My immune numbers were looking good. I am just at such a loss.
Now I wait. I'm opting to see if my body will start the process on its own. Then we have to avoid for a month to have one regular cycle before we can try again. I just can't believe this is happening again. I really wanted my miscarriage count to end at 5... and now I need to hope 6 is where it ends..
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from Never_give_up » Posted Nov. 8, 2015 8:47pm I am sorry Erica :( Huge hugs. There are just no words. |
 | Comment from AshleyLauren » Posted Nov. 2, 2015 6:23pm I hate that you are going through this. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Prayers this is your last m/c. xo |
 | Comment from Sailorswife » Posted Oct. 22, 2015 11:36pm Absolutely heartbroken for you. I am so sorry. |
 | Comment from lala_0412 » Posted Oct. 19, 2015 9:23am I'm so sorry. It breaks my heart to read this. I remember going through this all so well. I went for the D&C so it could be over with and I could just move on. My heart is with you. Just remember I'm close if you ever need/want to talk. |
 | Comment from niknik86 » Posted Oct. 18, 2015 12:25pm I'm so sorry for your loss :( My thoughts are with you! XOXO |
 | Comment from acrichton » Posted Oct. 16, 2015 7:08pm oh no I am so sorry :( |
 | Comment from PregNation » Posted Oct. 16, 2015 1:46am So sorry to hear of your loss... The time will come when you'll be ok, right now just surround yourself with family and loved ones. You will get through this. |
 | Comment from josamarie » Posted Oct. 15, 2015 10:51pm I am so sorry for your loss Erica, I can't even begin to imagine what is going through your head and your heart right now. My heart breaks for you, I pray you heal quickly, body and soul. |
