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ambewilson's Pregnancy
My Due Date: May 24, 2013I have given birth!
Age: 37 years old
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I know I can't trust him for me but, what about for my baby?
By ambewilson » Posted Mar. 29, 2013 1:53pm - 250 views - 2 comments
So yesterday the Home Nurse, Cindy, came to work at lunch hour for our usual biweekly class. She met me in the lobby as usual at noon on the dot. What made this one different, is that HE actually showed up to this one.
I was in the lobby waiting for him to pull up and the anxiety was racing through me like no other. Even though I don't respect, trust, or even think positively of him but a part of me is still crazy in love with him. It might be from the sudden rejection he put me through, maybe it's because he's the father of my first and only child. I don't know. It's just what does that love even mean?
Without the other elements present (trust, respect, admiration), there could never (thankfully) ever be hope for a relationship between the two of us. I could honestly say that I'd have trouble being friends with him. I couldn't be friends with someone I don't have any trust or respect for. I don't know. I think I need to just wake up and come back to earth and realize that He means as little to me as I do to him. I have a baby to think about now. Relationships come and go. I can't have him coming and going from the baby's life. I need to end this now and save my son the pain.
I can't even trust him enough to know if he's going to these classes for the baby or just to make himself look good to his gf.
My Journal
I know I can't trust him for me but, what about for my baby?
By ambewilson » Posted Mar. 29, 2013 1:53pm - 250 views - 2 comments
So yesterday the Home Nurse, Cindy, came to work at lunch hour for our usual biweekly class. She met me in the lobby as usual at noon on the dot. What made this one different, is that HE actually showed up to this one.
I was in the lobby waiting for him to pull up and the anxiety was racing through me like no other. Even though I don't respect, trust, or even think positively of him but a part of me is still crazy in love with him. It might be from the sudden rejection he put me through, maybe it's because he's the father of my first and only child. I don't know. It's just what does that love even mean?
Without the other elements present (trust, respect, admiration), there could never (thankfully) ever be hope for a relationship between the two of us. I could honestly say that I'd have trouble being friends with him. I couldn't be friends with someone I don't have any trust or respect for. I don't know. I think I need to just wake up and come back to earth and realize that He means as little to me as I do to him. I have a baby to think about now. Relationships come and go. I can't have him coming and going from the baby's life. I need to end this now and save my son the pain.
I can't even trust him enough to know if he's going to these classes for the baby or just to make himself look good to his gf.
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from ambewilson » Posted Mar. 29, 2013 4:50pm Thank you! |
 | Comment from sunshine805 » Posted Mar. 29, 2013 4:39pm Sending you hugs. |
