Gymnast36's Pregnancy

My Journal

Feeling like an idiot
By Gymnast36 » Posted Dec. 8, 2015 10:39pm - 644 views - 8 comments

So this is the most ridiculous, jealous, selfish reaction ever but I can't help it. Fiancé told me a couple of weeks ago that his brother's wife, my sister in law was late on her period. They only just got married in September and had no intention of getting pregnant because they have just put the deposit down to build their own house. Today he rang me from work and told me they are pregnant and are due in July, one month after me. It's so stupid but I'm so upset, I just for once wanted something to be about us and our family. We tried for a long time and lost a baby last Christmas to get here and then they do it by accident. The other thing is that she is so petite and skinny and gorgeous and I'm plus size and I feel like everyone is going to carry on about how cute her little baby bump will be. Don't even get me started on if we don't have a girl, Fiance's parents have been carrying on about having a granddaughter for ever. Its completely irrational but I feel like they won't love a boy as much.

There is an upside though, our kids will get to grow up together. I feel so so bad for feeling like this and I hope I get over myself soon so I can be happy for them. Just writing these thoughts down and seeing them helps me realise how stupid they are.

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from Gymnast36 » Posted Dec. 10, 2015 1:50am Thank you everyone for your messages! Makes me feel a lot better and I'm already having a better day today, thinking about our little ones growing up together and being able to help each other out.
	Comment from lala_0412 » Posted Dec. 9, 2015 11:17am Don't feel bad. This has been happening between in my cousin for YEARS! I remember one Christmas she wasn't supposed to be there and ended up coming and since we were the same age she got half of my gifts. Since then I've pretty much had a grudge. Petty, yes but who cares! Now that we are older every time one of my kids are they baby of the family she has one! She just recently had a son. That side of the family does not know I'm pregnant, not to mention with a girl and her middle name will be Grace. My grandmothers name who passed away. I definitely feel like I 2 up'd her this time with the name and a girl! Hey! It's like that sometimes. But grandparents love their grandkids either way. Boy or Girl they will be happy so don't worry about that!
	Comment from Cattsmeow » Posted Dec. 9, 2015 10:59am It's not stupid and it's completely normal. When I was pregnant with my youngest son (my second child, my husband's first), my SIL got pregnant about a month after I did. Everyone was all "Stephanie this, Stephanie's baby that", and it really upset me. No one paid any mind to our pregnancy and it kind of ruined our excitement about it. Like pbc said, pregnancy hormones can make you feel a ton of things that make no sense and make you think some ideas that are totally off the wall, but it is completely normal. hugs Hang in there, hun.
	Comment from Starmama14 » Posted Dec. 9, 2015 8:30am Totally normal to feel that way and I can totally relate, I mean almost completely. I was in almost the same situation when I was preggo with my daughter. Trust me when I say these feelings will pass :)
	Comment from Amanda_McDaniel » Posted Dec. 9, 2015 6:28am Totally normal. I'm on both sides. One of my brothers knocked up the girl he cheated on his wife with, got a divorce, married her in a hurry (they're both drug addicts), are having a girl also and it chaps my behind to hear my parents carrying on like it's the greatest thing ever after we had been trying for 8 months. Then I was nervous to tell another brother and his sweet wife because they had been trying for six years. Luckily IVF finally worked for them and are expecting in June. We all go thru it, sadly.
	Comment from Gigi76 » Posted Dec. 9, 2015 3:03am Don't worry, you're not alone...I know exactly how you feel! :) It's hard when people around you (especially people close to you) pop out babies left, right and centre, without even trying, while you have to 'fight' for it tooth and nail. I know it's really hard, but I guess if I were you, I would try to remember that just because she's skinny and pretty and got pregnant quickly, it doesn't mean that she's going to have an easy (or even healthy or successful) pregnancy. I think it's great that you do see the 'upside'....if you try to focus on the fact that your child will have a same age cousin to play with, hopefully that should help a bit! :) x
	Comment from Gymnast36 » Posted Dec. 8, 2015 11:25pm Tell me about the hormones! My fiancé asked me if there was a DVD in the player the other night and I said I didn't know and started balling my eyes out. Haha
	Comment from pbc910 » Posted Dec. 8, 2015 11:19pm They aren't stupid...I can completely understand how you feel. Plus, don't forget about pregnancy hormones because they will make you feel a whole bunch of things that make no sense.