Questions & Answers

The question clearly doesn't ask anything about WHY her partner wont marry her so why has that been brought up as an issue? It doesn't even say that she wants to be married or not. Some people are anti marriage and think the same about married people.

All you have to care about is what is right for you and your *long term* partner, because at the end of the day people will have their opinions no matter what. And I think its far too much effort to try and argue it out who's right or who's wrong. In a few months your have your beautiful little baby, Then center of your universe. Thats whats right. and thats what matters most..

To answer one person's question why arn't we married..... He hasn't asked. When i fell pregnant and said im a bit uncomfortable not being married he replied with "i woud love to get down on my knee and ask you to marry me but i can't now because it looks like im just marrying you because your having my baby". We both didn't expect this to really happen this quickly. we honestly thought we would have to do IVF when i'm 25. So things just moved a little fast for him to get his bottom into gear i believe. I know we will get married i'd say next year.
Yes of course we live with each other. We have our own place and also two animals (Our first babies)
Most of our reasoning has been because i was told i most likely would be infertile and i've always wanted to have kids. So im really proud of him that he maned up and actually agreed to doing this as in a few more years i might not get that chance. Thanks for some of the lovely posts made me feel alot better

Don't let anybody make you feel like shit honey, some people can be pretty rude. If you and your boyfriend are happy with your situation then don't think about others opinions. As I said before, I'm due to have my baby in a few weeks and I'm not married to the father although we are very happy together and can't wait to raise our beautiful baby girl. I'm glad u asked the question so don't doubt yourself for anybody.. This site is supposed to be for support and advice :) xx

Why do the negative comments not use their username. :/ I am really happy with most of the comments on here. So thanks to the ladies who offered support and kind words. :) wishing you a healthy and happy pregnancy. Xx

i'm not married & currently 25w+5d with my 2nd baby.. i don't think anyone should be able to put you down for not being married. although i guess it might depend if you are a certain religion?? i'm from australia & i had one person crack it at me for being unmarried, although she was from america, alot of my friends had a huge go at her because she didnt understand that i do not ever plan to get married because i don't want to and also because it's not forced apon australians as much as it is in other parts of the world. do what you and your partner think is best. i honestly wouldn't want to see a couple get married just because other people think they should. best to wait until your ready/decide to/can afford to. i think personally a wedding with your own children in it would be more meaningful.. all the best hun

Don't feel bad, but asking for people's opinions might mean that you get some opinions you don't like. There isn't anything really rude in the person's anonymous posts, they're just very blunt. I am not the previous anonymous poster, but I see their point.

I don't think the anonymous poster was trying to be rude, but it's hard to understand why you went ahead and tried to get pregnant without having talked about marriage first only to bring up later that you aren't completely comfortable having a baby without being married. I agree with the anonymous poster who said that he shouldn't care if it looks like he's just marrying you because of the baby. If he wants to marry you, he should. If you want to be married, you should talk to him about it.

The real question is how important is marriage to YOU, not us or anyone else. Marriage doesn't make happy families. But if it's important you, the reason he has given you doesn't seem like a good one.

I'm also having a baby out of wedlock.. although me and the dad are engaged we havent set any dates as of yet. I think everyone will always have their oppinions and from experience some are worse than others! I think 4 years is a long time (me and my DF have only been together 5 years) and if you and your boyfriend are happy with your situation then who cares? I know that when my DF announced to his family that we were expecting a baby the first thing his father said was.. "you's better get married quick then!" however I know my mum got married to my dad just because they were having a baby and now they are divorced and dont talk to each other! People will judge but you have a healthy, happy baby on the way and thats what matters :) xx

Wow! I don't think it matters at all! I mean people have sex before marriage? Divorce? Is it different to have babies? As long as it is what you both want and can give this baby as much love and care it needs, who cares about a piece of paper that bounds you together by law. You have both obviously made the commitment to eachother. Married or not no one deserves to be looked down apon. But unfortnatley this does happen because some people are perfect don't you know. lol (rolls eyes) Congratulations hun and GL! :)

I think that it is perfectly OK to have a baby out of wedlock! You both can be happy together for the rest of your life and never be married! Being married doesnt mean you'll be together for the rest of your lifes... my dad has been married 3 times. The peice of paper that says your married does have advantages, like taxes and every thing he owns is now yours, and easier to buy bigger things like a house or car.... but if you both have been together for 4 years, 3 more years and you can get those benifits anyways without actually getting married! If you and your BF are happy and are commited to each other then having a baby without getting married is just fine! Its your life! and as long as you are both happy and you both Love that baby unconditionally then I dont see anything wrong with it! I would tell all your coworkers that it really is none of there buiness and that you are happy and cand probably happier then most married couples! and that the baby will be raised with love!