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Category: Baby Showers

Asked by Kfinzue

Q: No one to throw me a baby shower ):

I am 21 weeks now, so I have plenty of time to have a shower still, but I can't think of a single person who would throw me one. I feel it is bad etiquette to throw myself one, or ask anyone to host one for me. I have lost most contact with my close friends (although we still talk, I doubt any of them would even want to throw me a party). My family either lives 2+hours away, or does not care for me much, so I expect none of them to throw me a shower. My fiance's family and I are not on good terms, so that's not an option either. I have registered at target, and it would be nice to receive presents (both for enjoyment and financial purposes) but I would be perfectly content having a shower just to celebrate my pregnancy regardless of the gifts. It wouldn't even have to be something fancy, maybe even just a dinner out with old friends. It just really makes me feel lonely knowing I don't have a single person close enough to me to throw me any sort of party. Advice?

This question was asked Jul. 19, 2012 3:18pm
Category: Baby Showers

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Answers (9)

Answered by a member - Sep. 12, 2012 11:31pm

Well I don't think it's wrong to throw yourself a baby shower. I was stationed in Italy when I was pregnant, so they held me an absentee baby shower. I feel bad that I wasn't able to make it and I never even got pictures from the baby shower. I'm either going to throw myself a baby shower or a gender reveal party. It's not even about the gifts, I just want to celebrate with my family and friends and have cake since I missed my last one.

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Answered by DemonSeed - Jul. 31, 2012 3:01am

If it makes you feel any better, my first baby shower was a flop. I got a swing. And a dried out cake. And apparently everyone had pitched in and bought that. The cake was free, I know because the ordered it from MY work :/
ANd the swing was around 40 dollars brand new.

It isn't ment to sound greedy, but a case of diapers or some swaddler blankets for 5 bucks would have been amazing.

This time, I am going to do a Meet the Baby around christmas, and just order subway to cater/order from. Then I can relax, people can bring goodies and everyone wants to give gifts around christmas anyway. :D

But I get missing out on the party. Preggo hugs! They help!

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Answered by Kfinzue - Jul. 20, 2012 1:05pm

Baby Q sounds so cute! I'm not one for much attention either, and am kind of awkward to be around, but I want it more for the celebration of the baby than for me. A lot of my friends are also having babies, so that really does draw attention away from myself. My very best friend is expecting, but is having a really hard time deciding if she is going to keep the baby or not, the father wants nothing to do with it, and she can't do it on her own, and knows he won't continue the relationship if she keeps the baby. She wants to keep it, but she wants to keep him too, for me it's no choice-I'd pick my baby. but that's a different story. so there is some tension between us, she is resentful my pregnancy is going so well (good health, stable relationship and supportive father to be). If she were not in thie situation she is she would hands down throw me a party.

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Answered by tibby8 - Jul. 20, 2012 3:12am

ive been kind of worried as far as the baby shower thing goes as well. i have maybe 2 gfs at the most and although theyve mentioned throwing me one, i havent heard much. one is in the army so shes busy and i dont mind and the other...theres tension due to the fact that she had to have an abortion. plus everyone around here is having babies i didnt get much attention when ppl heard my news. maybe we should throw a cyber shower? lol id get you something and mail it to you. i crochet baby stuff so thats what im sending some ppl for their babies

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Answered by looney - Jul. 20, 2012 1:17am

Baby-Q is such a cute idea! i cant believe i've never heard of that before. adorable.

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Answered by T0niMari3 - Jul. 19, 2012 11:16pm

I know exactly how you feel. I don't have many female friends and my sister is pregnant also (due the same week). She had a massive baby shower and invited friends, family and extended family who travelled large distances to attend, so I didn't have the option of my own shower with family either. I personally don't like being the centre of attention anyway, and decided that I'd prefer to throw my own 'Meet the Baby' party once the little one is here. It saved me from the unwanted belly rubs too! I don't think there is anything wrong with throwing your own shower though. If I was going to have one, I would have a Baby Q (Barbecue) and invite my friends, family and my partners friends and family. That way it's not only women and you and your partner can host together.

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Answered by a member - Jul. 19, 2012 9:16pm

Even though it is bad etiquette to throw yourself one, I did with my first. I just moved to the area and hadnt been around long enough to meet people. I mean I had family in the area but none of them were throwing me one. My husband and I were struggling through finances cause he had gotten laid off, and we still needed a few things (a couple blankets and diapers). Though it isnt right I didnt mind. Then again my husband and I arent really ones to follow traditions and etiquette.

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Answered by Kfinzue - Jul. 19, 2012 6:46pm

Yea I think it's definitely more of a feeling lonely thing. It's not a huge deal and not the end of the world by any means. I guess I just wish I had people to share this with and to be excited for me and my new family. I really do feel sad and a little left out I probably won't get one. I had no sweet 16 (or and birthday parties for that matter) no graduation party, no anything really. So I guess this was the big one I was really hoping for. ):

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Answered by a member - Jul. 19, 2012 4:06pm

Aww, you must be a first time mommy :) I know, having a baby shower seems like a rite of passage for a first time mom.... I thought I had to have one the 1st time around too. But I understand it is more then that, you just feel alone. My mom hosted my first baby shower, and I didnt have any friends either, so it was my mom's friends and their daughters who came... my MIL, & my grandma. It was small, I was grateful, but it was a reminder that I didn't have many friends.... sort of embarrassing too I guess?

Now, 4 years later, & a new baby, I have to tell you, it's not what it's cracked up to be. I bought everything myself for this little bub, & honestly, babies dont need all that crap they have out there, I spent a total of $700 & I have more then enough for baby. You can throw your own "Meet the Baby" party after the birth to celebrate, and that isnt tacky, and u might get gifts too, without it being implied.

((cyber hugs)) sorry you feel alone.

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