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Category: Prenatal Testing

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Q: My OB wants to get rid of me?!

I've been going to my OB since I was about 4 wks pregs. I am now about 14 wks. I've gone for a blood test and did my diabetes test and EVERYTHING came back perfectly fine and says I'm 100% healthy. However... my weight states me as a "high risk pregnancy". My current OB says that I'm considered 'high risk' but my blood work and everything says I'm completely healthy and I've been loosing weight every time I've gone in for my appointment. I've lost 14 and a half pounds since finding out I was pregnant...

My OB said she would like to make a referral to another OB at a different hospital (which is in a different city, about a good 20-30 minute drive just to get there). When I tried to ask why and everything she just kind of played it off as he (the new ob she wants me to have) would be a great match for me.

I am extremely nervous about having a male OB.. when I was little I was sexually abused... so Men in general tend to make me nervous... never mind one that (cont. in c

This question was asked Sep. 20, 2012 10:27pm
Category: Prenatal Testing

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Answers (9)

Answered by Layne-Shane - Sep. 21, 2012 4:12pm

oh what marney said is right about them being faster,women drs take there time , like they know we can handle it cuz they to have a vagina and have had it done b4 but with men drs ive had they get in there and get it done because they have no idea what it is like and honestly u get more sympathy from a man than u do a women dr :)

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Answered by Layne-Shane - Sep. 21, 2012 4:08pm

as a nurse a I know when a male doctor is with a female patient a female nurse must be present at all times when a exam is being done,and every case ive had an exam etc there has always been a nurse there even with female dr bc they need to assist :)

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Answered by marney529 - Sep. 21, 2012 3:48pm

I too was abused when I was younger and I have a male Dr. I actually just went last year for my first PAP because I wasnt comfortable and I was terrified. I am lucky enough to have a husband to be there for me and understand that I needed support. I told my Dr. I was abused and he was totally understanding and explained everything that he was going to do and was really quick. I am now 12w1d and both times he has had to check me he has been really quick. I agree with Layne, at least give the Dr. a chance and request that a female nurse be in there with you, I did and she is always there with me,but so is my husband and if you dont like him get a referral to a different Dr.I wish you the best of luck and if you need to talk dont be afraid to message me :-)

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Answered by Layne-Shane - Sep. 21, 2012 1:32pm

i was also abused as a child and then in my teens and when I had my son half the time I had the male dr,he was just fine :) mb a lil rougher than the female dr I had but the female dr I had looked like a man lol nut in any case when the male works on u they will have a female nurse in with u :) I am sure u will love this dr give him a chance and if all else fails call ur insurance and see if there is another ob thats in ur area that will cover u :)

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Answered by klara2222 - Sep. 21, 2012 11:06am

Why not call the office of the NEW OB and see if he has any female colleagues. You could tell the receptionist that you're not comfortable with male doctors for very personal reasons (no need to get into details or feel ashamed), and wanted to know if he could recommend a female doc as you respect his expertise, but require the services of a female OB. Try not to stress... you've still got many, many weeks in which to get this straightened out (some folks on here switch care providers later on in pregnancy). Good luck!

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Answered by Dientje - Sep. 21, 2012 7:36am

That is really a ridiculous way to treat a patient! However, since your old OB doesn't want to talk to you anymore, I personally wouldn't spend too much energy on her anymore. Although you could think about filing a complaint against the old OB?
Just call the office of the new male OB and explain that you are absolutely not comfortable with having a male OB, and ask whether he can perhaps refer you to another OB.
You are a patient, not a toy to be tossed around. You have to be comfortable in your pregnancy, so yes, you can definately say what you wish.
Good luck!

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Answered by Jhansen - Sep. 20, 2012 10:59pm

I am so sorry you have had to go through that. I would not want to go there if they treated me like that anyway! Are there any other Doctors in your area you can go to. I can see why you would be nervous going to a male doctor. I can tell you that anytime I had to have anything internal done with a male doctor there was always a nurse in the room. I am not sure if that is the norm or what. He might turn out to be a better doc then the one that just dumped you. Lucky for me my husband didnt care if I had a male doctor and I am sure had much more respect for him after watching me give birth. It ain't pretty close up. Any how, I hope you continue to have healthy pregnancy and are able to find a doctor who you are comfortable with.

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Answered by jacksonwest - Sep. 20, 2012 10:49pm

Seriously? I would be so mad if I were you! Where are you located, do you have the ability to change obs? I can understand her referring you to a specialist (if that is in fact what she was doing) but she should let you decide who, especially if you have a problem with her suggestion. If it were me, I'd be in her office 8am the next morning waiting to talk to her. Tell her office staff you are not comfortable with a man and that you're not leaving until she refers you to a lady. Good riddance to her I say, what a horrible way to treat a patient.

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Answered by a member - Sep. 20, 2012 10:34pm

omments..) will be down in my southern area. I'm really nervous about it and I'm loosing sleep over it. My DH would flip if he knew that I would be going to a male OB and I just don't know what to do. When the receptionist called to make the referral I tried to explain to her that I wasn't comfortable with being referred to a male doctor, she kept telling me there was nothing I could do about it that they were no longer my prenatal clinic and that they have transferred me as a patient. I tried to get her to schedule me an appointment with my current OB so that I could talk to her more about it since I was still a little confused about the situation and I wanted some answers... then the receptionist flat out said to me. "Dr. P does not want you as a patient. Oct ** is the date of your appointment with Dr.U. Do not call back you are not our patient anymore" then hung up..... I'm scared... and upset and I don't know what to do... Anyone have any advice?

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