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Category: Is It Safe?

Asked by ginabee

Q: How to deal with family members that smoke and not wanting them around the baby?

So I hope this doesn't cause drama, but I'm in need of advice.

My DH and I are very against having our baby boy around cigarette smoke, and the lingering after effects it leaves behind. My MIL is a huge smoker, smokes all day in her garage, smokes in her car, and goes outside constantly to smoke. She reeks of it. She smoked when she was pregnant with my DH and his sister. She says she would never smoke around our son, but that doesn't change the fact that she reeks of smoke. How do we tell her she cannot be around/hold our baby if she has been smoking, or smells like smoke?

This question was asked Sep. 25, 2012 1:56am
Category: Is It Safe?

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Answers (8)

Answered by soontoB5 - Sep. 26, 2012 2:19am

My Hubby is in the process of quitting but will NOT let anyone around me or the kids smoking he goes outside and changes his clothes and washes brushes teeth etc...he is getting down to hardly any cigs a day :) I cant wait til he quits completely, but he is trying! The only other person who smokes that comes around is my Step-dad and he walked in one day when my youngest was first born...and cig in hand and sits down next to baby and I yelled at him lol then so did my Mom he was mad about it but I doubt he was as mad as me! After that he does not smoke anywhere but outside and cleans his hands before playing with my son

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Answered by LalaRiley - Sep. 25, 2012 6:02pm

My parents both smoke, but only in the back yard. My husband is going to be deployed while I'm pregnant so I'll be staying with my family, and I'm not sure if I should say something. Not so much about the smell, since they are outside for so long it doesn't really come in with them, but because I want them to have a long healthy life with their grand baby. They've stopped before in the past so I know they can quit if they try. Hopefully your baby can be the encouragement your family needs to quit. Good luck!

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Answered by ginabee - Sep. 25, 2012 4:27pm

Thanks for the support and advice, ladies!!

We've hinted to her that we aren't OK with the smoking/smell around the baby. My DH told her nonchalantly that we learned in Lamaze that 3rd hand smoke can increase a child's chances of SIDS. She scoffed and said, I smoked around you and your sister and y'all are still alive. She's stubborn, cigarettes are not her only vices, unfortunately. But yes, we will be sticking to our guns and giving her a list of all things that must happen in order for her to hold baby - like looney's list. Must change clothes or put something else on, must brush teeth, must wash hands, etc etc. The woman just doesn't understand that things have changed since my DH was an infant, science has taught us so many new things about cigarettes and safety. Their house also smells like smoke, so his time there will be limited because the smoke travels from the tobacco-soaked garage to the inside of the house. Yay family :)

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Answered by Layne-Shane - Sep. 25, 2012 1:22pm

i stopped at 3 weeks with this pregnancy,but did smoke with my son,only one or two a day,which i know is bad,i only found out i was pregnant with him round 5 to 6 months and cut back,when he was born i never smoked around him,no smoking in car with him,we always smoked outside ne ways but id keep my hair up,change my clothes when i came in and wash my hands to elbows and face...needless to say all that still didnt make me quit but never started back like i was. now after almost 4 years i went from one to two ciggs a day to nothing...it took me all that time :(

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Answered by nipsnnibbles312 - Sep. 25, 2012 12:54pm

OMG, THIS HAS GOT TO BE ONE OF THE BIGGEST ISSUES DURING PREGNANCY AND WHEN BABY IS FIRST BORN!
i was a smoker for 10 years! i am ONLY 24...when i was TTC i quit APRIL 1ST 2012!! i am now 26 weeks pregnant and cigarette smoke Disgusts ME! my MIL smokes like a chimney and my DH and I both told her if she reeeks like smoke she isnt holding our baby! and if she doesnt make her house smoke free now, she wont have over night visits...
so like LOONEY said, have a clean jacket that she absolutely has to put on to hold baby!!
i think its just absolutely disgusting that people even consider smoking in the house with children especially babies! even before when i was a smoker, if there was a child around id smoke outside and wait 5-10 mins before going back in just so they didnt have to smell it! its gross....
so KEEP US POSTED ON HOW IT GOES WITH YOUR MIL! DONT FEEL BAD , ITS OUR BABIES LUNGS THAT WILL BE AFFECTED! SO IM GLAD YOUR STANDING UP FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN! GOOD LUCK

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Answered by kcrittenden - Sep. 25, 2012 12:32pm

I no how you feel ginabee! My MIL smokes one after another. Even in the house when my 4 year old son is there! I told her not to smoke around him, or even go in another room. She then had the nerve to say 'if you don't like it don't bring him over then'. ERG! She knows I would never take him from her or not bring him to the house! It sucks that I have to limit my time at her home, but for my sons safety I do. At least your MIL is respectful enough to say she won't. That makes things easier on you! :)

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Answered by ef99744 - Sep. 25, 2012 6:49am

I'm in exactly the same predicament and I've just been blunt with my mother and whoever else from the start of this pregnancy cos they were wanting to smoke around me, it might come across as harsh but I just said I don't want you smoking near me or the baby. My mum would get in my car and try and light up so I'd just stop the car and get out lol. Can you just be straight with them or will it cause hassle?

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Answered by looney - Sep. 25, 2012 5:33am

Maybe, instead of saying she "cant" just give her so many regulations that she will totally get the hint. Be like "if you reek like smoke, you are going to have to scrub and wash your hands, and then put on an assigned clean jacket of mine to create a barrier between your chemical laced clothes and the baby. and unless you brush your teeth, no baby kissing, not even on the top of his head or cheeks. Sorry Grama."

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