Answered by a member - Nov. 17, 2012 4:34pm
We've gone from a good 5-7 times a week to maybe 2-3+ a week. While my sex drive is pretty much non-existant (now 18weeks and still staying gone) I still love my husband and know how much it means to him and know that my trying shows him he's still important. He does not ask for it, and does not pressure me in any way.
My husband has had to sacrifice a lot in that I now prefer a quicky with no fuss. He prefers a huge make out session and is a romantic. He knows that's too much for me now as I'm just too exhausted/achy to try! So really without much discussion we've compromised on shorter, and simpler but still a few times a week.
Our friends are also pregnant and that soon to be dad mentioned to my husband they haven't had sex at all (3 months now) and don't plan to until after the baby. I think that made my husband appreciate how lucky he is so he's really not going to complain now!
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Answered by a member - Nov. 17, 2012 4:24pm
We have sex maybe every 3 weeks now that's I'm pregnant. We used to do it 2-3 times a week. It was my husband that didnt want to do it. He thinks he will hurt the baby or something. I told him there's no way he could hurt the baby. Sex is uncomfortable for me too, but I still want it. We found a position that finally works for both of us. Might be TMI, but might help. He stands at the edge of the bed and we do it doggy style. Then there is no pressure on my stomach and it's comfortable for both of us. Worth a try. Good luck and things will be better once baby is born. Hope you can sit down and talk and he can be more supportive and understanding. If only men understood what pregnancy felt like.
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Answered by monroezelda - Nov. 16, 2012 11:02pm
I went off sex when I was pregnant with my first and that was 8 years ago, I cannot be bothered. before I had kids it was about 3 4 times a day, he would come home at dinner time for sex, he must feel so lost now as he is lucky if its once a week :/ ha ha but we do other stuff every other day instead.
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Answered by a member - Nov. 16, 2012 9:28pm
I'm 32 weeks, Before pregnancy Dh and I would have sex almost every-day. Now it's about once a week. Dh understands not to pressure me into having sex because if he does, he knows both of us won't enjoy it. Plus ever since I hit third trimester, I've been a bit "tight" down there which is really uncomfortable (sorry, TMI)...Talk to ur fiance about it and express your feelings because as you go along in your pregnancy it will be more difficult to find the "mood" to have sex.
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Answered by a member - Nov. 16, 2012 9:25pm
We are down to about 1/wk, sometimes less because I'm just too sick the majority of the time and it has been very uncomfortable thus far. I'm only 12 weeks today (yay!), but sex was actually very painful a couple of times. The last time (a few days ago), I was on my left side, and that was enjoyable. Afterwards I felt cramping, though, so I'm not sure what can be done about that. He's had a tantrum or two, but mostly DH gets that I am just not physically able to be as active as before. I wish your fiance were being more understanding because the last thing you need is a guilt trip or physical stress right now. That's all I'll say about that.
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Answered by a member - Nov. 16, 2012 8:43pm
No, you are not being a baby! And I'm really sad your fiance is being so unsympathetic. I wish guys could experience the uncomfortable/painful symptoms of pregnancy just for a day to really understand what it is like. As for your question about how often other pregnant couples do it, I'm sure it varies depending on how the woman is feeling. My DH and I were doing it about twice a week while I was feeling good but I went through a rough patch where I felt bad and we didn't for a month or so. Please don't let your fiancé make you feel bad about it if you are in pain! He needs to be helping and supporting you at this point!!!
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Answered by a member - Nov. 16, 2012 8:16pm
I'm 15w and get bad m/s so our sex life has dwindled to 2 times/week (down from 5 times/week) and I'm sure even that won't last to delivery. I know my DH is sad that being sick and uncomfortable has decreased my ability to be physical, but he would never make me feel like I wasn't satisfying him. He knows how difficult pregnancy has been and it's not that I'm disinterested in him.
Honestly I'm sorry to hear your fiance has expressed such selfish feelings! You're having his baby and he's worried about you satisfying him? He should be worried about doing what he can do to make the pregnancy easier for you. It sounds like your fiance needs to get a better understanding of what being pregnant is like and get over himself a bit.
That said, my DH and I have tried to find creative ways to stay physical. **TMI warning** I use my hands more now and let him "finish" on my chest or I'll rub him in the shower. If I'm up for sex, we've discovered spooning works well. Good
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Answered by a member - Nov. 16, 2012 4:48pm
Since you and your fiance have been together so long, and he wants to marry you and commit to having a baby with you, he should be able to suck it up for a bit. It's quite common to experience a loss in sex drive during pregnancy and totally understandable. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and since I got pregnant we've had sex about four times (I'm 36 weeks); I had terrible morning sickness for 4 months, and then after that it was just uncomfortable. After 25 weeks I felt way too big to want to at all. I gave him oral a couple of times, but only because I don't mind it - if I didn't want to, I definitely wouldn't. Yes, it's frustrating for your fiance, but compare it to everything you have to go through. He should see it as one of those sacrifices you make for a bit when having a baby and focus on how he can make you feel loved, despite the lack of sexual contact.
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Answered by ginabee - Nov. 16, 2012 4:48pm
Wow everyday?! That's pretty awesome :)
My DH and I did it about once a week. He doesn't have a super high libido anyway, though. And he worries about hurting me or making me bleed, so once a week it was. I find it enjoyable, especially if you find positions that doesn't put a lot of pressure on you.
I'm 35w3d now and we haven't had sex in at least a month because of sicknesses and other circumstances.. but my suggestion would be try not to let being pregnant take out the spark completely. It's a good way to stay close to your partner, just find positions that work for both of you.
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