Eluria88's Pregnancy

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What do you guys think?
By Eluria88 » Posted Jan. 29, 2014 3:29pm - 249 views - 4 comments

I decided to keep things moving in a positive direction that I would write my announcement statement that I wanted to post on Facebook when I am ready to go 100% public with the pregnancy. I plan on going 100% at 20 weeks but telling family at 19 weeks. My very close family and my work know about my miscarriage in September but a lot of my friends are completely unaware. Especially the complaining pregnant ones that drive me insane!! Here is what I have so far, I want it to sound nice, but gently serious because it is a serious matter, I want to tell everyone of the baby we lost, and inform them why they are getting this happy news so late in the pregnancy. I will have a more official happy announcement later. Keep in mind that I do not believe in God or any religion for that matter so I do "thank the universe" that's just my way of saying thanks to the ways of the world so to speak. You may all thank Jesus or God or whatever but that is my down-to-earth-friendly-loving-atheist version :) This is what I have so far:

To all my friends and family -

We are excited to share the news that we are expecting a baby September 1st, 2014!
It may seem odd that we've waited until now to share the exciting news, but please know we have told close family in person this week, and chose to share with those we may not see as often through the wonderful world of the internet.
In July 2013 we found out we were expecting a baby, due in March 2014. Unfortunately at 10 weeks on August 20th, we were shocked to find that our baby had no heartbeat and had passed away around 6 1/2 weeks completely unknown to me. We decided then that we would try again when both of us were emotionally ready and when I was physically ready. The thought of having a procedure to remove the baby was overwhelming to me emotionally, so I decided to wait, a very hard process but the only one I felt I could handle. The process started on September 2nd and we lost our baby naturally September 8th 2013 at 12 weeks. Because of the emotional pain that telling family/friends of the loss caused we decided to wait until our odds of loss were incredibly low to share the news of our second pregnancy in 2014. 12 weeks is considered the general safe-zone as the chances are very low, but I decided to wait until 20 weeks to be more than certain because of the lack of signs and seemingly unreal news in August.
We have decided we are waiting until baby's arrival to discover the gender. I don't know so don't even ask!
The baby we lost will never be forgotten and was definitely not "replaced". Since the topic is still of incredible sensitivity and my current raging hormones have me on the edge of emotional sanity, I ask that you refrain from asking me questions or trying to comfort me - even the best intentions can cause unintended pain. Sometimes the best support comes from a silent hug and the awareness of understanding. We are ready to focus on the life we now have and know that our lost child will always be a part of us, and a part of our family. I've done my grieving and am ready to move on to the celebration of this new joy and the second chance the universe has given us.

Ellie

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from chehowca » Posted Jan. 30, 2014 3:59am It is beautifully written, but not something that I would personally feel comfortable putting on facebook. I had a missed miscarriage in July 2012 and the people who I needed to know the details of it, I told in person. When I announced our surprise rainbow baby on Facebook, I left it at that. It was a surprise rainbow. I didn't want this joy to be, I don't know what the proper word is, tarnished (but not so harsh sounding, maybe tempered or marked), by the sadness and grief of the last loss. I wanted this event to be special and joyous. I will never forget my lost baby of 6w5d (Ayda, was the name we picked, which meant returning visitor) and all my hopes and dreams that were attached to it. No one joked about my announcement and how it came about and if anyone had a question about what "rainbow" meant, they messaged me and I told them then. I guess that's what makes us all unique though. We all have different comfort levels and approaches that work for us.
	Comment from Eluria88 » Posted Jan. 29, 2014 7:35pm Yeah I considered it being too much info but all my friends on FB are close friend I know everyone really well, only have 60 friends on there and I want to be open about my miscarriage. I don't want to feel like I am hiding a deep secret. That baby was part of my family and I think everyone needs to know. I also don't want anyone to offend me on accident unaware of my loss. Some people I know will try to make "jokes" about this pregnancy since we didn't try for either of our boys. They will joke not knowing we tried for this one because of our loss. I don't want to put anyone in a position where they feel like an a-hole for offending me. It's something I need to air, a load I need off my chest and I feel comfortable letting everyone know :)
	Comment from greeneyes » Posted Jan. 29, 2014 5:10pm It brought tears to my eyes! Best wishes!
	Comment from Krod0519 » Posted Jan. 29, 2014 4:35pm Are you sure you want all that on FB? Not at all coming rude to you, I also had a MC in July and now I am prego again.. sucks but it's life. I always think keep it short, sweet and simple. The people who need to know or should know will ask or would have found out right? That's just my opinion, I don't plan on making any announcement myself, but the ones I see sometimes seem way too much and I like your sentiment and honesty but maybe not for FB. Either way I am sure you will write what you think is best :) my very best wishes to you and as you say thank the universe for the blessings!