waitingonmyrainbow's Pregnancy

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Horrible news on Tuesdays
By waitingonmyrainbow » Posted Jan. 4, 2017 11:02pm - 835 views - 4 comments

So I went for my sonar to check and see how the babies are doing and I got the worst news ever both my babies didn't have a heartbeat. My heart is work broken. I was suppose to wait and see what happened but yesterday I just couldn't so I went to see the Emergency Dr and they put in contact with a gynecologist and I go in at 1 pm for a D&C as I can't wait for something to happen. It could be weeks and I have to look after my son and work. Wonder if this is the day that I will have my miscarriage. I have to be able to function. Heart is very broken and we made the choice of no longer trying to have a baby. We are blesses to have a son already. I have been booked off for 2 weeks so that I can heal and deal with my emotions. The Dr that I seen was a very sweet man. He was very understanding and reassured me that this was not my fault and that this happens when baby is not compatible with life on the outside. He is just very sad that this didn't happen sooner and it would have been alot less painful. He will do more blood tests to see if it a genetic abnormalities. It might seem wrong to some people for me to have this surgically done but in my heart I can not wait. I keep thinking about my two babies that are dead inside of my body and I just start to cry. I am also thinking of my son and how sensitive he is and how emotionally connected to me he is. If I start to cry he will cry and get upset. Last night I had the worst back pain and started to vomit and all this woth bad left sided cramps. I thought about going in but I feel asleep on the couch and woke up this morning feeling slightly better. Good luck to all the moms to be and I hope you have a wonderful happy 9 months and get a blessing that you will forever cherish.

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from BabyBiggles » Posted Jan. 13, 2017 4:20am I am so so sorry to hear your news. I can't even begin to imagine what you and your family are going through. My thoughts are with you all and your beautiful angel babies xxxxxxx
	Comment from estone » Posted Jan. 5, 2017 9:48pm I'm so sorry to hear this. I opted for a D & E when I lost my twins in 2011 at 18 weeks. It is awful and no woman should have to go through it. It does get easier with time, but never goes away. Hugs and good thoughts to you and your family.
	Comment from waitingonmyrainbow » Posted Jan. 5, 2017 6:50am I took the cytotec the Dr told me to use 4 hours pre op. Been less then 3 hours and I have started to bleed and have passed a clot. Not to sure what is going on now. But have such bad back pain and cramps.
	Comment from Angela18 » Posted Jan. 5, 2017 5:45am My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family and I'm so sorry for your loss. I was the same with my miscarriages, I opted for d&c for the same reasons as it tore me apart to think of having to wait to lose my babies. I hope you and your family heal together and (although none of my business) wait to decide on whether or not to try again. I went through years of thinking God was trying to tell me I was not supposed to have children because of all we'd been through, and I regret waiting and I regret feeling the way I have about it all and the pain I still encounter with it. Whatever decisions you decide, I just hope it's one you will be happy with, and no regrets like I had :). Xoxoxo