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KenpoMommy's Pregnancy
My Due Date: January 23, 2014I have given birth!
Age: 49 years old
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Not getting better :-(
By KenpoMommy » Posted Dec. 27, 2013 5:56pm - 486 views - 5 comments
Ronen's billiruben levels have just been going right back up since we left the hospital Xmas eve. He is getting another blood test in the morning and if he is any higher than he was today, they are going to admit him to the NICU tomorrow. I am so upset about it. It was bad enough when I was in the hospital with him and I couldn't hold him or anything while he was under the lights, but the idea of having to leave him there and go home is too much for me. Did I mention that I now have a uterine infection as well? So I feel like total shit on top of everything else. I got some bad news about something unrelated yesterday also so that is making my ability to handle all of this very short. I am an emotional mess and I can feel the PPD creeping up again even though I've really tried so hard to do whatever I can to prevent it this time. I'm just really hoping the test will start going down tomorrow.
My Journal
Not getting better :-(
By KenpoMommy » Posted Dec. 27, 2013 5:56pm - 486 views - 5 comments
Ronen's billiruben levels have just been going right back up since we left the hospital Xmas eve. He is getting another blood test in the morning and if he is any higher than he was today, they are going to admit him to the NICU tomorrow. I am so upset about it. It was bad enough when I was in the hospital with him and I couldn't hold him or anything while he was under the lights, but the idea of having to leave him there and go home is too much for me. Did I mention that I now have a uterine infection as well? So I feel like total shit on top of everything else. I got some bad news about something unrelated yesterday also so that is making my ability to handle all of this very short. I am an emotional mess and I can feel the PPD creeping up again even though I've really tried so hard to do whatever I can to prevent it this time. I'm just really hoping the test will start going down tomorrow.
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from KenpoMommy » Posted Dec. 28, 2013 12:18am Today is also the anniversary of my fathers suicide as well. Probably why I'm feeling so emotional about leaving my baby back in the hospital again. No matter how many years its been, you never get over the impact a loved one's death has on you, especially if you know they left you intentionally. It affects everything else in your life, from the minute you find out, on. Forever. I just want All this to be over. This whole year has been one of the worst years of my life, outside of having another baby. Just when I think things can't get any worse, they do. Everyone keeps saying, "well the only direction from here is up, right?" Sure. If you've hit bottom. But something tells me that hasn't happened yet... |
 | Comment from Bostonmama08 » Posted Dec. 27, 2013 9:19pm Prayers to you and baby Ronen. *hugs* |
| Comment from eag923 » Posted Dec. 27, 2013 9:17pm Praying for both you & your little man! I had PPD & my first born, being born at 36 weeks, had jaundice too. You will get through this!!! |
 | Comment from gotababylady » Posted Dec. 27, 2013 7:55pm Praying for you and Ronen |
 | Comment from sassysacha » Posted Dec. 27, 2013 6:24pm I am wishing you all the best!! |
