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How can family be so mean?
By hopejosh » Posted May. 30, 2014 11:36am - 244 views - 5 comments

Being pregnant isn't all sunshine and rainbows, no matter how much we wish it to be. But that is what family is supposed to be for right? To be there for you, give you moral support when needed. Well, not my family.

I have to children, 5 year old girl and a 19 month old boy. They are my world.
My mother was not happy when I had my daughter. I wasn't too young or anything. I was 25, had a job, my own place and my own car. My father was happy and very supportive. 3 years later I had my son. Same thing happened, even more when she found out he was a boy.

Now fast forward to present day. I'm pregnant with baby #3. I was told, by my mother and her boyfriend that I'm stupid and this baby is a mistake. This hurt me worse than all the other crap she's said and done. I do not believe babies are a mistake. They are a blessing, even the unplanned surprise babies.

I'm considering cutting her out of this pregnancy and possibly my life. I don't know how much more of her I can deal with, and I shouldn't have too.

How can family, especially a mother, be so mean and cruel?

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from hopejosh » Posted May. 31, 2014 8:01am Thank you all for you kind words and support. My mother hates my husband, she has since the day my daughter was born. With no real reason. She treats my brother and his wife the same as well. She has six grandkids and only wants to spend time with one and blames everyone else for not seeing the others. We all have to be the ones to make the effort, not her. I've lived here 4 years and she's been here maybe 3 times. Maybe one day she will wake up, just hope its not to late. My niece and nephews won't speak to here.
	Comment from prinder » Posted May. 31, 2014 3:34am I'm sorry to hear that your mother and her partner are not being supportive. It is infuriating that they would say such things without any logical reason for it. In all likelihood, they are speaking from unresolved feelings of jealousy and/or bitterness. My MIL and her mother aren't much better, to be honest, so I make it a point to keep them at an emotional distance when I can't have a physical one. I find such comments abusive and I don't have much tolerance for abusive relationships; I think I will be even less tolerant once I'm a mother because I wouldn't want my children growing up thinking that it is okay to treat others like that. I can't help you make a decision on what to do, but I do support you in whatever choice you make - it will be the best one for you and your family. Hang in there, okay? We're here for you.
	Comment from Cattsmeow » Posted May. 30, 2014 12:32pm I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. Sadly, I understand how you feel. My side of the family won't even acknowledge my husband and I, let alone the fact that we are expecting #2. You need to do what you feel you need to do in this situation. If you feel cutting her out would benefit more than weight you down, then do it. No one should have to listen to that kind of negativity, especially from a person who is always supposed to have your back and support you.
	Comment from jennavee » Posted May. 30, 2014 12:28pm Honestly, I would cut her out. She's talking this way about her child and her grandchildren! Until she is accepting of you and your blessings I don't think you are obligated to put up with her treating you that way. I hope she is able to change her attitude towards you. If not, don't feel bad about making a better situation for you and your kids!
	Comment from Sianny » Posted May. 30, 2014 12:08pm I'm sorry to hear that she acted that way, I wouldn't cut her out as this would make you the bad person especially in her eyes. Unfortunately it means you may have to change your expectations of her, know that she will say things that are unsupportive and go mentally geared up for this when you see her. Lessen your exposure to her and her negativity for your health but if you are the one to cut the ties then that gap between you will be seen as your fault unfortunately. I know this seems like little help but it's coming from personal experience. Keep her at arms length but never be the one to let go. Keep your chin up hun x stay strong