Answered by momtobe1992 - May. 20, 2012 10:35pm
I'm in the same situation, I have a 2 year old step-son. But my hubby is very close to him, my hubby can't stand it if he doesn't see his son in a couple days. Since this is his second child, I worry about the same too, about fairness. We talked things through and ofcourse he said he will be fair to our child and his own child. I told him myself, when our child is born, he can't just leave his son behind. I understand that he has a son, and ofcourse he has rights over his child. Just hang in there, there will be times when you will start thinking about differences with your child and his child, but life has a lot of bumps a long the way...Good Luck.
459 out of 902 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 9:01pm
I was the child who when my parents got divorced and my dad for remarried I didn't see him anymore. It is hurtful. I think it is a great quality in a man to love his kids when the relation is over because so many men don't. To this day my father is still not in my life and will not know his grandson. Try to see if from everyone involved point of view. He can show both children that they are loved equally.
238 out of 468 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 3:00pm
im afraid hormones may be getting the best of you. step back or go for a walk and think things through... if he has never seen this other child and doesnt have any contact...why would you be concerned with your daughter "competing" for his attention ? why dont you want him to love his other child ? maybe this pregnancy is opening his eyes... and now he sees that his son IS his child who SHOULD be loved. a child that grew just like the one you are pregnant with now...and needs his father just like the one you are pregnant with now..... do u know what i mean...?
good luck!!
it seems like your husband needs some support and yes maybe some counselling he may be confused and troubled, or feeling guilty with the whole situation. try to support him and encourage him to visit his child. fathers have rights so she cant just turn him away....
234 out of 461 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Answered by T0niMari3 - May. 20, 2012 10:06pm
The poor little guy didn't ask to be brought into this world, and he surely didn't ask his parents to separate nor for his daddy NOT to love him. I think it's tremendously brave of your dh to stand up, be a man and say that he does love his child and want a relationship. It's his son, his own flesh and blood. Too many guys out there, run away from there responsibilities.
I think you should be proud of your dh for standing up to his responsibility and definitely support him in any way possible. He is not going to love your baby any less, his heart will just grow bigger. Yes, he'll most likely have more of a bond with your baby- that bond that comes from sharing every moment of your child growing up.
I can understand that it's going to be difficult for you to change your opinion just from reading a few posts. But please do not be jealous of the love your dh has for his son. His love for his children, will make him a better person, husband and father to your baby.
454 out of 895 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 8:02pm
don't expect your marriage to last. if hes smart.
i cant believe someone would even ask such a question as this. HOW DARE YOU expect your husband to choose favorites.
222 out of 438 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 5:31pm
I can see were you think a few of them are alitle harsh, most are not. They are just giving their thoughts, sorry if you don't like them, but you asked. It sounds like you want people to agree with you and are getting mad because they aren't. I'm sorry but you are wrong and need to get over it. It's his child, he his going to be in your lives and you need to accept that and learn to love and accept his other child.
232 out of 458 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 7:39pm
My husband and I are waiting for our second right now and I would never dream of making my husband say he loved one more than the other. Frankly, your attitude is despicable and you should be ashamed of yourself.
There are two sides to every story and you might find your daughter in the same shoes as her half brother when "daddy" leaves you high and dry and gets another woman pregnant who doesn't want him to love your daughter as much as their child.
241 out of 476 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 6:38pm
Seems to me that you are not prepared enough for reality. You came on here..the question/answer log looking for opinions. People gave you there non sugar coated opinion and you were not prepared for their straight forward answer..Just like you are not prepared to except a few things in your husbands relationship..I would have to say...this is one of those times that you should pull youre big girl panties up and take this with stride! Because the women on here are women who are proud PARENTS.. Proud to share with the world, Proud to be able to love a child..or another child..or even their 5th child. These are women who have been trying to have children....but keep losing them, women who have tried ten times after m/c and finally are blessed with a sticky baby...If you were looking for people to rub your back and tell you it's ok...this is not the place for you! I think Im speaking for most here...we are proud loving mothers who love that we are extending our families..part 1
215 out of 425 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 3:00pm
Sometimes it takes a direct approach..Ive talk with this person before and tipped toed around the real answer. She has posted things like this in the past...so clearly...the nicey nice way isnt the way that gets her attention. This is stupid and ridiculous. Its an argument about the love for a fathers child... I can't be the only one that thinks this is weird and for a mother to be jealous about this...clearly this family needs help from professionals..not us women on here. Truth hurts..but once you hear it as is..sometimes its easier to either prove someone wrong..or realize your problem.
216 out of 427 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Answered by a member - May. 21, 2012 12:08am
why would ANY woman want to be with a man who wants nothing to do with his existing children? in my mind, that's a HUGE red flag, irregardless of what his relationship was like with his ex.
i don't understand that.
however, what's done is done and the only thing you can do, if you choose to stay with him is to encourage HIM to be a responsible parent. if he chooses not to be, then that's on him 100%.
as far as comparing your pregnancy to his ex's - well, that's what he has to compare it with and probably can't help it as we do draw from our previous experiences. i wouldn't get offended at that. afterall, alot of us share the same pregnancy worries and complaints ... ex's aren't immune.
if your ? WAS asking for him to choose a favorite - yes, that's wrong. they are BOTH his children and he should have been doing better by the son all along.
if your ? was more about the same detachment from his son and now daughter - HUGE problem; is it worth being with him then?
433 out of 857 found this answer helpful
Thank you for contributing! Was this answer helpful? YesNo
Community
Need Advice? Ask Your Question
