Need Advice? Ask Your Question

Questions & Answers

Category: Prenatal Testing

Asked by furrybear11

Q: Please can anyone help, approx 10 week scan tomorrow and conception date is so important to know

Ok here goes..I've know this girl for over 2 years as a friend but in the last 6 moths we have fallen in love and were going to make plans to be together when last month she told me she's was pregnant. She is still unhappily with her boyfriend. She pretty sure it's mine but I have more doubt about that after she told me she slept with her partner 5 day after me which I couldn't believe after what she told me bout their relationship. I slept with her on the 18 Sep and she said she slept with her partner on the 24th Sep. She says she thinks she was obvulting on the 20 or 21and first day of last period was 7th so assuming egg life thats why she's pretty certain it's
mine but how can she know exactly when the egg was available to be fertilized. I'm going to first scan with her tomorrow and need to know what to ask the scannist how accurate she can predict conception date..paternity test now aside is there anyway of knowing with a degreeof Ccertainty who's the father..HELP PLEASE

This question was asked Nov. 29, 2012 1:24pm
Category: Prenatal Testing

Answer This Question

Answers (23)

Answered by LalaRiley - Nov. 29, 2012 7:27pm

During my early scans they said that the baby was growing normally for how far I was. Then at my 12 week scan the baby was measuring almost 5 days ahead. It can be different at every scan. Sorry to say, but it sounds like a paternity test is the most accurate way to know. Its always possible that she ovulated a day or two later than she thought she would, just because stress and stuff can mess with ovulation. Good luck, and start saving now so you can do the paternity test when the baby is born. Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable raising someone elses child in a situation like this so I totally understand how you wouldn't want to.

241 out of 463 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by a member - Nov. 29, 2012 5:30pm

i went through something similar. i slept with 2 different men within 1 month. my ultrasound showed the babys age to be exact, right down to the day i slept with one of them so i knew whos baby it was, but i know it doesnt work like that for everyone.

220 out of 426 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by a member - Nov. 29, 2012 5:54pm

The scan will tell you the approximate gestational age of the baby, but it is by no means exact (sorry to tell you). Sometimes it is right on, and other times baby can measure a day or two, or even a week ahead or behind. So, until you have the money for a paternity test, I doubt you will get any real peace of mind.

Just throwing this out there...would it be so bad not to know? It sounds like you are ready to commit to this woman (and therefore you will be committing to her baby too). You could still be a good father figure to this baby regardless of if it is yours biologically. I know that it would be harder and more complicated if it is not yours, but babies really are wonderful and need lots of love and attention. If you are going to be in the mother's life, you could be a positive factor in the baby's life too.

I really wish you the best of luck and hope the ultrasound gives you some clarity.

236 out of 458 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by vegasbaby - Dec. 1, 2012 1:38am

Kynles I'm still in shock..identical twins apparently and it was a week behind so better than a week I'm front I guess but like u say can't know for sure :(I think due date bit before urs but I'll need to confirm that cause heart was racing that quick could speak or take much in I'm afraid..wish I could go back to ask a few questions but can't..next scan 22 weeks..thanks for ur kind words and fingers crossed for u to..only slept for to hours last night and still can't sleep tonight..anyone know anyone who's had identical twins..I'm off to have that heart attack now

448 out of 872 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by vegasbaby - Nov. 29, 2012 7:45pm

Thanks lala I agree I'll just need to see what they say tomorrow at scan most of what I've read indicates for a scan at 10 weeks within a week max would be pretty accurate so if it's after or about the 24th unlikely mine but if it's before let's say 18th then would mean more likely it's mine..well that's my logic anyway I'll just have to say to nurse predict the conception date and if ur right there will be something in it for her..why do we resort to humour when we're worried
..any more informed options welcome please

422 out of 827 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by vegasbaby - Nov. 29, 2012 7:05pm

Commit to her knowing it's not mine..I love her but I have a massive problem with that..that may be selfish but it's how I feel..is this a male female thing cause she hinted this to me which quite frankly I felt I was right to be angry
And in respect to mon2b I'm under the impression all embryos grown more or less then same up to a certain point..isn't mitosis etc universal to everyone...rant there any midwives around so I can least have my facts right forthe scan ttomrrow. .I'll probably be up for ages not been sleeping much lately so no time is to late tonight

223 out of 437 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by Kynlees_Mommy - Dec. 1, 2012 5:16pm

Aww! Well congrats then! My best friend has identical twin girls that are 7 months old! I wish you the best! You will be double blessed in a few months! :) I have looked online and found that a Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS) or Amniocentesis can be done while she is pregnant to determine if you are the father.. It has a risk of miscarriage but it is very rare.. But along with the risks of losing the babies, it is pretty expensive I think but they are just as accurate as the DNA test they do after the baby is born.. May want to check into it if that is an option for you so you will know for sure.. My husbands best friend was in your situation a few years ago and was there through the whole pregnancy and birth and then found out the baby wasnt his and was devestated and I dont want you to go through that.. But at the same time, you would feel bad if you werent there for her pregnancy and birth and the babies were yours.. ya know?!

452 out of 886 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by a member - Nov. 29, 2012 2:59pm

The only way of being 100% sure is to do a paternity test.

However, if she did indeed ovulate on the 20th or 21st, you would be the father. Sperm can survive in a woman for 2-3 days or longer in some cases. If you had sex on the 18th and she ovulated on the 20th or 21st, the sperm would have traveled up the fallopian tube by then to meet the egg. Eggs are only viable for about 24 hours, so 3 days later when she slept with the other man the egg would have either died (if it had not been fertilized) or already been fertilized, so the new sperm would not have affected the embryo.

It is, of course, possible that she ovulated later than she thinks, in which case the other man could be the father. But if she is confident in her ovulation date, I think you can be fairly certain you are the father.

213 out of 421 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by a member - Nov. 29, 2012 7:36pm

I think claiming you're in love with her, sleeping with her while she's in a relationship then being mad you might not be the father makes you a bit of a jerk. OK, a lot of a jerk.

Ultrasound is not accurate enough to give you an answer to within a few days. The only way you'll know is a paternity test.

But, really, if you're going to be a jerk about it, it might be best if you just left her rather than lead her on with faked support.

221 out of 437 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answered by vegasbaby - Dec. 1, 2012 6:34pm

Kynlees thanks for your advice..I have looked into this testing..is expensive but only way of knowing for sure. I feel so much for ur husbands friend must have been devastated. How was ur friends pregnancy with the I'D twins..the increased risks r a worry but sounds like it all went good :) can u find out what sex they are on second scan..I'm so stressed.I have to find out wish it wasn't so expensive but I've found a non intrusive test so no risk there but samples go to the state's for test.

447 out of 891 found this answer helpful

Was this answer helpful? Yes No

Answer This Question

You are not logged in.
Log in or Register to post an answer to this question.

Other Questions in Prenatal Testing