Answered by a member - Jan. 17, 2013 12:47am
Aww don't just keep it in! I think your husband deserves to know how you're feeling because it could affect your marriage. You could end up resenting him for not doing things he didn't realize that you needed him to do. Helping around the house is obvious, but telling you how awesome you did in labor without an epidural probably isn't as obvious to him. I think spouses need to help each other be the best spouse they be, and sometimes that means sharing needs we might be embarrassed by (like crying over how we look). Plus, I don't think there's anything embarrassing about how you feel! Pregnancy is hard on our bodies and so much of how we look and what we go through is out of our control! So scary!
I think your husband deserves to know specifically how you feel because otherwise you're making it hard for him to give you what you need. If he was disappointed or hurt by something you were doing, wouldn't you want him to tell you and not just keep it in and be sad?
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Answered by a member - Jan. 16, 2013 11:13pm
well the only thing i have really told him is that i dont feel like he cares about me. he says oh of course he does.. but he really doesnt show it. he told me 3 days in a row that he would help out so i could have a nap and it just didnt happen. he puts other things before me. things are very different between us, maybe because im feeling so down and depressed and he doesnt really know.... i just dont want to feel like this anymore.
im afraid of feeling silly or humiliated when i tell hubby whats going on with me. maybe he will think im crazy for crying over the way i look ? i guess i will just have to be brave and tell him whats going on with me. if he doesnt take me seriously then i guess at least my doctor will. thanks everyone! i know how lucky and blessed i am to have my beautiful baby, i just want to feel loved again :(
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Answered by janastep73 - Jan. 16, 2013 8:49pm
I would definitely talk to your husband and/or your doctor. If you continue to feel this way and don't tell your husband how you're feeling, you may grow to resent him and that will definitely put strain on your relationship. Quoting my husband (and i hate it when he says this), he can't do anything about it if he doesn't know it's a problem.
Just tell him you need an hour or two every now and then to take a nap, get a shower so you can freshen up and feel pretty again. Maybe suggest having your or his mother come and stay with you for a few days because you feel like you need help? I know that would whip my husband into helping! :)
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Answered by Vantaya - Jan. 16, 2013 8:05pm
I would advise you speak to your husband about this as well! Was he supportive through your pregnancy? Tell him that now baby is born you need help which includes him being a daddy for 60 minutes so you can shower/nap and do things to make yourself feel good and human. I would also have to advise you keep an eye on this and consider post pardom depression a possibility. If things dont get better over the next week or so, make an appointment with the doctor :) Chin up lovey, you have a baby!
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Answered by a member - Jan. 16, 2013 7:35pm
I agree with the other posters about talking to your husband. I know you said you've expressed some kind of issue to him and he says everything is fine, but have you specifically said the things you mention in your post about him not verbalizing his support or did you just tell him that you feel like your relationship is falling apart? To me, those are two very different things. It seems like you feel like you're not getting the emotional support and attention you need during this difficult time, but if all your husband hears is that you think things are falling apart, he may disregard what you're saying as you overreacting.
Hopefully he's thinking all those things and just hasn't realized how important verbal affirmation is to you right now. I really think you should sit down and have an honest conversation about how hard this experience has been for you and how much it would mean to you if he were a little more complimentary and encouraging.
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Answered by nikkiblueeyes - Jan. 16, 2013 6:38pm
Like stephpan said you need to talk to your hubby about how you are feeling!! It does sound like baby blues its normal hun i had it with my son. It will pass in a week or so. Speak to your health visitor when she comes to see you next n she will reassure you that its normal to feel like this But it the mean time just cry wen you need to and jst te,l your hubby how your feeling and im sure you will be fine :) xx
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Answered by stephpan - Jan. 16, 2013 6:05pm
You should definitely talk to your husband - or someone about it - and your doctor. What you are talking about definitely sounds like it is post-partum related. Just getting it out there in the open may really help.
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