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Mem401's Pregnancy
My Due Date: October 7, 2018I have given birth!
Age: 40 years old
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Frustrated With MFM
By Mem401 » Posted Apr. 23, 2018 3:17pm - 387 views - 3 comments
So after my first MFM appointment the Dr. put me on Metformin. It helped immensely. Too much actually. I was having lows every single day and one day my blood sugar dropped to 39! And the lows were SUPER difficult to get up. So I had my 2nd appointment Friday with the MFM. Instead of lowering my Metformin or insulin, she took me off of my mealtime insulin COMPLETELY! What the crap?! So now to keep my baby safe I am having to meticulously count every single carb that goes in my mouth. And cravings? Forget about it. Can't have anything I crave. :/ So I called today to report my blood sugars hoping that they would give me at least 10 units for dinner, but NO...instead told me to restrict my dinner carbs even further. I am so upset. It's not like even with the restriction my blood sugar has been where the office gave me guidelines. Their guidelines say at 2 hours post meal should be 120 or less. I've been 160 at highest and 131 at lowest. I don't like it. I've been correcting them to 120 without dr permission because it scares me so much. I explained to the nurse again today that I have actually lost a baby to high blood sugar and I'm not willing to do that again. But counting carbs so extremely is another stressor I don't need right now. I just need a little wiggle room. Just a little. Say I want one cookie, I'd like to be able to eat it, but I can't even smell the cookie right now because it makes me cry. Taking care of Maggie is the most important thing in the world to me, so I am meticulously counting every carb for her, but it is stressful and I'm constantly worried about hurting her. The nurse today tried to make me feel better about my blood sugars by telling me that some of their patients have fasting numbers in the 300's and after meal readings in the 400's. That doesn't make me feel better, those people are HURTING their baby's! I don't want to go anywhere NEAR those numbers.
It's too much right now. My husband has been gone for 2 weeks on a business trip that I BEGGED him not to take. He is 8 hours away. And my step-kids don't listen to anything I say and the youngest has been super dis-obedient since before Christmas and he isn't getting any better. So I'm stressed anyway and counting every single carb is yet another thing to stress me. It's not like I'm eating a whole cake, or even drinking a small milkshake. When I had my insulin I was having 2 cookies a day if I wanted them, which wasn't every day.
I'm so stressed and constantly worried about Maggie. I know the stress is bad for her, and I'm trying to remain calm, but no one else is trying to help me stay calm. I don't have help with anything really. My mom is staying with me but she is disabled and not able to do much other than be moral support. I'm taking care of 3 kids 24/7 by myself, battling my diabetes, and now I'm depressed from the stress. I refuse to wish away any moment of pregnancy but it's hard not to wish that I could at least speed up time until my husband gets home. (This Sunday)
But anyway...at Friday's appointment Maggie was upside down, facing my back and asleep with a heart rate of 153. She looked great. And Saturday I am pretty sure I felt her move. I felt 4-5 tiny little pushes in my uterus. It didn't feel like a cramp. I haven't felt it since then, but I think it was her. With my weight that was early. I'm still not showing much. My mom says I am, but I don't see it. Too much "Fluff".
My Journal
Frustrated With MFM
By Mem401 » Posted Apr. 23, 2018 3:17pm - 387 views - 3 comments
So after my first MFM appointment the Dr. put me on Metformin. It helped immensely. Too much actually. I was having lows every single day and one day my blood sugar dropped to 39! And the lows were SUPER difficult to get up. So I had my 2nd appointment Friday with the MFM. Instead of lowering my Metformin or insulin, she took me off of my mealtime insulin COMPLETELY! What the crap?! So now to keep my baby safe I am having to meticulously count every single carb that goes in my mouth. And cravings? Forget about it. Can't have anything I crave. :/ So I called today to report my blood sugars hoping that they would give me at least 10 units for dinner, but NO...instead told me to restrict my dinner carbs even further. I am so upset. It's not like even with the restriction my blood sugar has been where the office gave me guidelines. Their guidelines say at 2 hours post meal should be 120 or less. I've been 160 at highest and 131 at lowest. I don't like it. I've been correcting them to 120 without dr permission because it scares me so much. I explained to the nurse again today that I have actually lost a baby to high blood sugar and I'm not willing to do that again. But counting carbs so extremely is another stressor I don't need right now. I just need a little wiggle room. Just a little. Say I want one cookie, I'd like to be able to eat it, but I can't even smell the cookie right now because it makes me cry. Taking care of Maggie is the most important thing in the world to me, so I am meticulously counting every carb for her, but it is stressful and I'm constantly worried about hurting her. The nurse today tried to make me feel better about my blood sugars by telling me that some of their patients have fasting numbers in the 300's and after meal readings in the 400's. That doesn't make me feel better, those people are HURTING their baby's! I don't want to go anywhere NEAR those numbers.
It's too much right now. My husband has been gone for 2 weeks on a business trip that I BEGGED him not to take. He is 8 hours away. And my step-kids don't listen to anything I say and the youngest has been super dis-obedient since before Christmas and he isn't getting any better. So I'm stressed anyway and counting every single carb is yet another thing to stress me. It's not like I'm eating a whole cake, or even drinking a small milkshake. When I had my insulin I was having 2 cookies a day if I wanted them, which wasn't every day.
I'm so stressed and constantly worried about Maggie. I know the stress is bad for her, and I'm trying to remain calm, but no one else is trying to help me stay calm. I don't have help with anything really. My mom is staying with me but she is disabled and not able to do much other than be moral support. I'm taking care of 3 kids 24/7 by myself, battling my diabetes, and now I'm depressed from the stress. I refuse to wish away any moment of pregnancy but it's hard not to wish that I could at least speed up time until my husband gets home. (This Sunday)
But anyway...at Friday's appointment Maggie was upside down, facing my back and asleep with a heart rate of 153. She looked great. And Saturday I am pretty sure I felt her move. I felt 4-5 tiny little pushes in my uterus. It didn't feel like a cramp. I haven't felt it since then, but I think it was her. With my weight that was early. I'm still not showing much. My mom says I am, but I don't see it. Too much "Fluff".
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from cmere84 » Posted Apr. 25, 2018 8:12am I would definitely insist on them doing something where you have a ltitle more leeway with your numbers. That is ridiculous...... Sorry your having a tough time :-/ but the hubby will be back and all will be better soon. How many out of town trips is he going to take in the next 9 months? Lol I'd go with him and tell him to hire a nanny! Haha |
 | Comment from Celenes_Mommy » Posted Apr. 24, 2018 1:53am I'm sorry you are going through so much stress right now. That sucks. It might be helpful to sit down and have a long, serious conversation with your MFM, you're right stress isn't good for Maggie either. I can't believe you're 16 weeks already! The time seems to have flown by!! I hope you get a little help and some stress relief. |
| Comment from sonata85 » Posted Apr. 23, 2018 5:54pm I know 6 days in pregnancy time can feel like a year. Hopefully you will have more support when your husband is home. The good news is your baby looks great!!! And I bet you’re feeling flutters for real. It gets even more fun feeling the movement as they grow. As for your MFM—I don’t know what to say except have an honest conversation about your feelings on your current treatment plan. Every time I saw my MFM last pregnancy, he talked about how small the baby was and that it was possible she had trisomy 18, even though there were no markers on ultrasound except her being really small. The worst part was being told “there’s nothing you can do.” And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with my daughter today. It was crazy stressful and you’re right- stress can be harmful to baby. Anyway, wishing you and Maggie all the best and please PM me if you need support. |
