Amanda_McDaniel's Pregnancy

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Losing My Jesus pt 2
By Amanda_McDaniel » Posted Aug. 25, 2015 8:02pm - 282 views - 8 comments

If rumor is to be believed, his fiancée (my parents have convinced them to go to the JOP on Thursday... though it will be tough with no money and no vehicle) has been smoking pot and whatever else at six months pregnant. They have been taken advantage of my parents and my drug addict brother's ex-wife and baby's mother to pay for their very existence and the other day I just lost it. I have her blocked on Facebook because her very name curdles my blood but I heard of the advantage taking (keep in mind I'm the only child who celebrates my parents, spends holidays with them, and have the only grandchild they actually know... but they will bend over backwards when one of the losers drifts into the picture crying for mommy...) and honestly went off. To shorten another long story, my mother lied to my face to protect this chick even though I told her I already knew the truth. My mom has always been my best friend and the hurt went so deep, I couldn't breathe. She has since apologized but I just can't get past it... I work so hard and ask for almost nothing in return and her betrayal just changed everything. I'm not shunning her or anything but there is definitely now a wall there... All of that to say that we have decided to cancel our gender reveal. My husband has been bickering with his mom, his brother, and now this?? We've decided to focus on us. We'll look together with our son and use the bath fizzes I bought to announce through a photo. Maybe (hopefully) it's the hormones but I feel like I deserve better. That, for the amount of work I put in with my parents, they bring little to the table. I feel like I have always loved them despite of what they do, rather than because of it. I'm sure, without telling you my childhood, I just seem harsh but suffice it to say that I am not hard to live with and I love without anything in return (with four siblings and two other sets of parents to constantly fight with, there was no room for me to be stingy). Excuse my spelling errors... I have been on the verge of tears since this happened on Friday...

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from josamarie » Posted Aug. 29, 2015 11:30am I am so sorry, that is so much to be going through right now. My dad comes from a very difficult family dynamic (his mom's youngest sister was 10 when their mother died, so my gran adopted her sister and then insisted she start calling her mom. Just an example), and he always had a very fraught relationship with them. Probably the best thing I ever learned from my very stoic but also beloved father is a saying, "If it comes to a choice, you always choose the family you make over the family that made you." No one wants it to come to that, but when it does, the choice is clear. I think focusing on your family and protecting your own feelings and emotions right now is the best thing you can do for your children. Good luck!
	Comment from lala_0412 » Posted Aug. 28, 2015 4:00pm Let me just say I know how that is. I have been through similar situations and at this point in my life I just focus on MY family. Yes my mom and sister are family but I have my OWN family. I am mom and I distance myself as well. We do it not only for our own good but for the sake of our children. I do not do drama well or take crap. Ever since I have focused on my family my life has been a lot easier. and lets just say stress free. And they get that now, they see my distance and now they make an effort to speak to me or be around me, WITHOUT drama. And that's the way I like it. Do what's best for YOUR family. And again congrats on the girl Lucky girl!!!! :))
	Comment from SarahEMcCormick » Posted Aug. 28, 2015 7:12am Amanda, First of all, I will say I am so sorry for what you're going through emotionally. I also want to mention that your family sounds a LOT like mine; I can relate oh-so-well. I don't have anything to do with any of my 4 brothers and 2 sisters, only my mother. My father can fall off the face of the planet for all I care. Sorry, it might sound mean, but it's true. Like you, without anyone knowing the back story, it's easy for others to judge. I FEEL for you and I am here if you want to talk. Also, CONGRATS on the gender reveal - I am excited that you guys looked! I am hoping for a girl so badly but I will be happy no matter what of course. Hang in there, focus on your family, and leave everyone else alone. Those who want your time will seek it, and those who don't care, won't.
	Comment from Lolo1176 » Posted Aug. 27, 2015 1:40pm Oh Amanda! I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all this! I know too well of family drama. Thankfully not my immediate family. But my dads side are all crazy. I swear he is the only normal one out of the whole bunch. I haven't see my uncles in years one is a crazy scary drug addict and the other is suicidal. My aunt was in a bad car accident as a child and since then I think has become a hypochondriac. But I still see her and her family from time to time. I am sorta close to my cousin, her daughter, we are about the same age. It's sad when family gets this way. My moms side of the family is too far away and it's hard to stay in touch with them. So really the only family I have is my immediate family and DH's family. I am also sorry to hear that your reveal brunch got canceled. I am also thinking of only doing one with close family members only and that's it. Mostly because I don't think we can afford to do one...lol. Hang in there sweetie! HUGS
	Comment from Amanda_McDaniel » Posted Aug. 26, 2015 2:26pm Thanks, ladies. You're right, of course. I have to so many blessings in my own house that I don't need anything outside.
	Comment from pbc910 » Posted Aug. 26, 2015 9:09am It's a shame people do this, act this way to family, create drama or get involved with drama and end up loosing connections with children, grandchildren, etc. I know exactly what you mean about meeting someone and just knowing they aren't good people. It's easy for me to say screw all of them but I know in reality it's not so easy to cut people off. I think focusing just on you all is a great idea.
	Comment from MalPal85 » Posted Aug. 26, 2015 8:56am ....anyways. This it about you and I'm ranting about myself. I was frustrated at first but now I just realize that I have to take care of myself and enjoy the loving family I have and you should do the same. Love your small gender reveal idea! Can't wait to hear about it.
	Comment from MalPal85 » Posted Aug. 26, 2015 8:55am Sorry you're going through this. I don't think you seem harsh at all. You need to do what's best for you, especially now! We have a small family feud going on between my parents and my cousins new wife. She's a bitch and I have no problem calling her the dreaded "c" word which I NEVER use (not to her face though, haha). Long story short my cousin and her live with my grandpa, free of charge, and take care of him. My parents also live next door (family farm) and help out. Now all of a sudden since they my cousin and his wife got married back in April she think she owns the farm and everything with it but complains all the time about how she doesn't have a life. News flash lady! You offered to take care of him and you don't pay a dime for anything! I honestly think she didn't think my grandpa would live this long. If they don't want to deal with it then they need to go out, buy a house and have a mortgage like the rest of us. My grandpa has plenty of money to find s