Answered by kaylia2oo5 - May. 20, 2012 8:25pm
The member who posted the 1st comment onto this question is directing their rude comments towards me. I am going through the same thing with my Hubby- he has a daughter that he wanted not a thing to do with until we showed up pregnant. I had supported him, encouraged him to be there for her, etc., and it was always that he didnt want to, or didnt have enough time. After we found out we are pregnant, he decided he was going to go for custody of her (even though he's seen her only 3 times in almost a year and 1/2, which was completely his choice), etc. About 2-3 weeks after that, he hauled his horns in and I haven't heard anything more about her. I had supported him in the idea of going for custody of her, but it seemed to be like a passing whim. If you'd like to talk more you can inbox me :)
And to the 1st "member" who posted an answer to this, I'd love for you to inbox me too- you've posted rude comments onto my questions before too, but do not have the gull to post
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Answered by kaylia2oo5 - May. 20, 2012 11:32pm
block you.
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Answered by knicole27 - May. 20, 2012 5:37pm
maybe put yourself in his son's shoes. I have been in his shoes personally and it hurt me so much as a child being in the middle of custody battles, he said she said stuff, crap talking etc. Its really hard for children to be in this situation. I used to think my dad did not love me for a long time. It cost me many many years of counseling since I was a preteen. I did not realized the real "issues" until I was much older which had nothing to do with me but all to do with my mother and father and how they "handled" things... Finally I started a relationship with my father in my early teens but he re-married when I was 10 and my step mother had a hard time accepting me in the family for a long time. It was and has been VERY hard for me because of all this so.. please please.. think of this little boy and sensitive most of all to his feelings. It not easy for these children at all. I know from personal experience.
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Answered by kaylia2oo5 - May. 20, 2012 11:35pm
And, as a side note, I completely believe the lady that commented before I made my last comment. I can completely understand where the original member's question was coming from, and that is why I commented. I never once said that any child should be shunned or neglected, every child deserves to be loved. My first daughters father left me when I was 3 months pregnant, and has never seen her. I know what it is like to be on both sides of the fence.
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Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 3:52pm
Yes, you are wrong. ALL children deserve to be loved by their parents. It surprises me that you wouldn't want your DH to have a relationship with his son. Obviously he will spend more time with the baby you are having, but that shouldn't mean that he can't love his son equally. He SHOULD love his children. You are being unreasonable and petty. You should encourage a relationship between him and his son. With all due respect, you choose to marry and have a child with a man with baggage...so you have to be prepared to deal with the consequences of that. I know in your eyes, your daughter would be more important, but to him, he will now have TWO children...both of whom he should love. As a mom, you should respect that. I think that some couples counseling would be beneficial for both of you. It's only going to get more difficult when the baby arrives, so you need to get these issues worked on now.
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Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 2:16pm
You have posted a question like this before(I'm pretty sure I know who this is)...you guys need to go GET SOME HELP! Fighting over how much he will or does love his own children is STUPID! God gave him blessings and you need to except it. He needs to deal with it how ever his body is dealing with it. This is absolutely ridiculous! You guys have children coming into the world..show them how to be mature adults and focus on the things that really matter. Seriously...when I say get some help..I mean it in way of..go get some family counseling. The few questions you have posted have relatively the same with more details..and I think that everything you have asked is to big for CMP people to analyze for you.
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Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 5:05pm
I asked for honest answers. you can put things in a nice way. And for whoever said that i have posted these questions before I havent so quit assuming. Plus if any of you were in this situation I'm sure things would be different. This is supposed to be women supporting others not bashing them.
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Answered by Our1st - May. 20, 2012 4:28pm
I'm sorry sweetie, but I think you are just not happy because you are not getting the answer you want. Siblings or in this case half siblings, usually do not "compete" for love. It would be wrong of him NOT to love both the same. I think you are over reacting a bit.
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Answered by a member - May. 20, 2012 6:14pm
No one is bashing you, you just seem upset because no one is agreeing with you. If i was in your situation, I assure you, I would still believe that my DH had every right to love his son and I would encourage that relationship. I wouldn't be worried about my DH not loving my daughter enough. I'd probably be more concerned if he DIDN'T want a relationship with his son. Children shouldn't have to suffer because of problems with the parents.
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Answered by momtobe1992 - May. 20, 2012 10:35pm
I'm in the same situation, I have a 2 year old step-son. But my hubby is very close to him, my hubby can't stand it if he doesn't see his son in a couple days. Since this is his second child, I worry about the same too, about fairness. We talked things through and ofcourse he said he will be fair to our child and his own child. I told him myself, when our child is born, he can't just leave his son behind. I understand that he has a son, and ofcourse he has rights over his child. Just hang in there, there will be times when you will start thinking about differences with your child and his child, but life has a lot of bumps a long the way...Good Luck.
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