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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Q: Should I stay, or should I go?

Last night my fiance and I got into a really horrible fight, that ended up getting physical on both our parts. The fight started because I wouldn't tell him in great detail about my day. (I am on bed rest, so my explanation consisted mostly of, I layed on the couch, I layed in bed, and I watched cartoons.) He got very angry and started accusing me of cheating on him, and all sorts of other horrible things. When I started getting very worked up, I told him to leave. That I couldn't take the stress. He then pounced on me, and not only hit me multiple times, face, abdomen, back, sides, but resorted to choking me when I fought back. He choked me into unconsciousness. When I came to, he was sitting on my belly, holding me down and screaming at me. This was the worse he has ever been in a fight, he has thrown me around before, but never made me fear for my life like this. I don't want my kids to have no dad, so I don't know, should I stay or should I go?

This question was asked Jan. 25, 2013 8:48pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answers (21)

Answered by truestar070 - Nov. 8, 2013 2:44pm

You don't want you kid to have no dad BUT who wants a dad like him. LEAVE HIM ASAP before he hurts you and your baby really bad. Good luck girl xxx

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Answered by kCharleneS - Feb. 9, 2013 7:05am

Good for you. I'm glad that you're taking the right road with this and doing what is right for you and your babies. Good luck and hope things look up from here.

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Answered by a member - Jan. 29, 2013 5:12pm

I packed my things and left last night. I coulldn't take the fear anymore. I really have no family to turn to, and all our friends are mutual... So I left on my own, with all of your comments pushing me. I am in a deeply depressed state right now, my mind keeps telling me to go back home, but my body, and the bruises scream that it will happen again, the minute I walk through the door. The babies are doing fine, no injurys, and I am going to be doing great soon too. I know that posting this on here was probably silly, but I was so lost, and didnt have anyone to turn to. Thank you all for being honest. He isn't going to be a daddy to my children, the police are looking for him, and they tell me I am not the first, but I need to be the last. I was scared to call the cops, I didn't think they would believe me, but they are doing more than I could have ever asked for... thank you all so much. never again will i stay, and i never will return...

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Answered by a member - Jan. 29, 2013 6:26am

I wonder what you decided to do? Please tell us?
I am in a very similar decision to you right now. It's heart breaking physically and mentally. I have left before and gone to a shelter etc only to return. Pains me so hard because although at times he treats me terribly, he is and would be an amazing father. I really hope you have friends and family to turn too during this difficult time. But if you're anything like me- it's hard telling me hence why one is in a forum like this.
We both know what is best and I truly hope you have the means to get out. x

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Answered by kCharleneS - Jan. 28, 2013 11:23pm

You first need to go to the hospital and get yourself and the baby checked out. Him hitting you in the abdomen, sitting on it, and then choking you until you passed which also cuts off the baby's oxygen supply is horrible. Then you need to have the police come, get them to press charges, have a police escort and get out. Get a restraining order. This is terrible. Especially with you being on bed rest.

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Answered by looney - Jan. 28, 2013 6:15am

Get a restraining order first. That way when he goes to court to get custody he will most likely fail miserably. then you can move on with your life, and find a GOOD MAN, (yes, dont settle for another dirt bag please!) and then your baby will have a nice new daddy and crap-daddy wont be in the picture. been there done that!

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Answered by a member - Jan. 27, 2013 1:10am

Let me tell you this :( my mom suffered abused for 24 years thinking that my dad was going to change some daywell that day never came ! And she always thought that staying with him was the best for us .but if you want to know it was the worst thing she did for all of us its better not to have a dad like that around then an abusive husband and father. So think about it you can make it better for your kids you dont need no one like that in your life. Good luck hun!

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Answered by brittneyp400 - Jan. 26, 2013 8:01pm

Go, if he did this once, he will do it again and you never know but he could very well do this to the baby. Press charges, you deserve better.

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Answered by lucyblue - Jan. 26, 2013 7:49pm

I think you very well know the answer to this question because it is painfully obvious. NOBODY should stay around someone like that. You are putting your life, your unborn child's life and your other children's lives in danger if you stay. Get out now hun...not just for yourself but for your CHILDREN. xo

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Answered by monroezelda - Jan. 26, 2013 2:00pm

and on the other hand my best friend suffered violence in her relationship for many years, even being booted in the head going the hospital etc, her partner never changed, she has since left him and has a much happier life with her children.
I am totally shocked at your partnes level of violence, and can only suggest to get out while u can, this sounds lvery dangerous to you and your baby. I really am stunned. good luck I hope u find a way out xx

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