Log In | Sign Up Now | Help & Support

Message Me | Follow Me
Joined Jul. 1, 2015 6:36pm

Amanda_McDaniel's Pregnancy

My Due Date: March 1, 2016
I have given birth!
Age: 37 years old

View All My Journal Entries

My Journal - Page 2


Prayers Needed
By Amanda_McDaniel » Posted Sep. 7, 2015 8:00pm - 569 views - 12 comments

Any of you who read my journal a few weeks ago regarding the cancellation of my gender reveal plans read my reference to a brother who, for all intents and purposes was deceased to me. Well I am both heartbroken and guilt-ridden to say that now it is both figurative and literal. My brother Adam, at only 37 years old, passed away in his sleep on Friday morning. Though we had more or less been estranged since 2012, I wholeheartedly believe in miracles and, on that morning, a giant chunk of my life's hope died in that bed right alongside one of the kindest, most loving men I'll ever know. The only fortunate notes, I guess, would be that he was a born-again believer in Christ and he's finally free of the demons who, at the end, dogged his every step. However, guilt has already begun to eat me up inside. Not only am I feeling chastened for being an awful sister, I'm also beginning to question my decency as a human being. I have done nothing but cry and reflect for days now... As part of my penance, I'm arranging for him a memorial service tomorrow evening. I am not a good public speaker but I owe it to him to admit in front of family and friends what I selfishly withheld from him while he was alive. And going through the pictures of our childhood... oh, dear Jesus... I hurt in a place down deep that I didn't even know I had. His viewing is on Wednesday night and I can already tell you that it won't be how I pictured our reunion... Please pray for me. I'm hoping the stress hasn't been too much on the baby...

Comments for this Journal Entry

Comment from Summer0120 » Posted Sep. 8, 2015 8:41am
So sorry for you loss. That's awful. My brother and I haven't spoken in almost a year, but I still can't imagine losing him permanently. Prayers to you!

Comment from aprilluvsmoz » Posted Sep. 8, 2015 8:27am
I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family to get through this difficult time.

Comment from Libelula264 » Posted Sep. 8, 2015 6:52am
Oh, no. :( I'm very sorry for your loss Amanda. Sending peaceful, loving thoughts your way.

Comment from Basia30 » Posted Sep. 8, 2015 6:41am
So sorry for your loss


You must be logged in to post a comment. Log In or Sign Up