gotababylady's Pregnancy

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Mother-in-Law help
By gotababylady » Posted Feb. 7, 2014 9:49am - 720 views - 11 comments

I'm really at my wits end. I don't know what to say or do. She has this annoying need to name her grand children. She renamed our first born and all the family just follows her lead. Now that she knows we are having a little girl she has also decided the name we have chosen is not to her liking so she announced on FB last night the name she has chosen. With our oldest we named him Robert (after Dh) Paul(after GF) . We call him Paul. It was his grandfathers name and it fits him to a tee. She and all of her family call him Robert. He is ten and has asked her to call him Pail many times. She flat out refuses and makes ridiculous excuses as to why she will not respect his or our wishes. For our daughter we have chosen Mckenzie Grace. Not only has she decided that she will not call her by this name she has completely renamed our daughter. She announce last night that the family will be calling her Tuti. She says it was her mother nickname and has demanded everyone else call the baby this as well. I'm so upset. I know she means it and that nothing I say will change her mind or convince everyone to let us name our own baby. I am not a confrontational person. I have a hard time speaking up but I did and I begged her to respect our choice, she flat out refused. I don't want a family war but I hate that she is always butting into my life!!! What do I do how can I fix this problem?

Comments for this Journal Entry

	Comment from Eluria88 » Posted Feb. 7, 2014 8:51pm Mine is the same way but about everything. She feels she has to say exactly how we raise our children right down to their extra-curricular activities. This time around we arent finding out the gender and I am not sharing my name ideas with her at all. She will find out when the rest of the world does so she has no time to brood and corrupt people about everything. I wish she wasnt in our lives period. Sounds bad of me but she causes no good at all.
	Comment from jennavee » Posted Feb. 7, 2014 3:44pm you're way more polite to her in your response than I would be! She's being a selfish bitch and she needs to know it! Sorry for my language...but how dare she treat you that way! It sounds like it's more about the power struggle for her than the actual name. I would definitely make it clear that nobody is to call your daughter anything other than what you wish. On a side note, I have a nephew named Christopher, when he was a baby I called him "kookoobear" and his mom hated it...she told me that she didn't like it, so I stopped. It's not that hard! Your MIL needs to respect you!
	Comment from ericalee » Posted Feb. 7, 2014 3:32pm I also think BeanStick's idea would be a great taste of her own medicine. As long as you are wiling to put up with the aftermath because it sounds like there definitely would be. My mother-in-law can be a piece of work, but WOW -- yours has mine beat. My husband would probably be making a phone call to say that if she didn't respect our wishes that he'd be cutting ties until she did. I agree with Emma about the boundaries. Not that you want her out of your life completely (or maybe you do, but you know that's never going to happen :) ) but she needs to know how serious you are!
	Comment from Krod0519 » Posted Feb. 7, 2014 3:02pm I love BeanStick14's idea, rename her LOL! But OMG I am soo sorry you have a serious monster In Law. I would personally Annouce on FB that YOUR Daughter's name will be Mckenzie and have her pillow or something embroidered with her name and post that! She is way over steppig her boundaries. it is one thing to have a nickname but not to demand everyone else call her that, let her know YOU are the mother, and she is not. God I feel so bad for you, i want to yell at her for you lol
	Comment from BeanStick14 » Posted Feb. 7, 2014 12:12pm Why not rename your mother-in-law a name she doesn't like, and announce it on facebook and constantly call her that to her face until she respects your wishes and calls your children by the names you two have choosen.
	Comment from gotababylady » Posted Feb. 7, 2014 12:06pm Here is what I wrote in response: while Robert and I appreciate your opinion we would not like for history to repeat it's self. When Paul was born you decided you did not like that name. We let it go because we assumed everyone else would respect our right to name our kids and call them what we asked them too. That did not happen instead the entire family calls him what you choose to call him, even though we have respected everyone else name choice's for their children and called them as they chose. That being said we would like to name our 1 and only daughter. I'm sorry if you do not approve of our name choice but I don't want the entire family calling our daughter Tuti. I know that is an important name to you but it is not the one we have chosen. I understand we can not stop you from calling her whatever you choose but we would appreciate if everyone would respect whatever name we chose. She is super mad now but I don't care anymore.
	Comment from kaylia2oo5 » Posted Feb. 7, 2014 11:53am I'd just plain and simply tell her- its your child not hers. The baby is to be called the name you've chosen- nothing else. Thank goodness my MIL doesn't try and pull crap like that- otherwise I'd be telling her!! Good luck!
	Comment from emmapeal9 » Posted Feb. 7, 2014 11:13am I'm sorry you're struggling with an over bearing mother in law. In our case, my DH would cut his parents out if they showed that much disrespect. It seems harsh but boundaries are extremely important. You don't cross them in our family without consequences.