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Amanda_McDaniel's Pregnancy
My Due Date: March 1, 2016I have given birth!
Age: 37 years old
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Hormones or Righteous Indignation??
By Amanda_McDaniel » Posted Aug. 1, 2015 8:41pm - 340 views - 10 comments
Okay, I need either some tough love or (maybe and) someone to talk me off the ledge. A little history: My husband is military but he's reserve (even he does way more than the one weekend a month, two weeks a year thanks to being a flight medic) and, when he's home, he works nights in the ICU of our local hospital. He leaves for work after dinner and typically makes it home before my son and I get up in the morning. As a result, we only have one car. It's a large sedan, good on gas, and has a low payment since he's military. I am a total cheapskate so I don't want another payment until I get back to working this Fall. My parents, who have two vehicles, work together so, if I need a car on the days DH is at the base, they loan me one of theirs. So... This weekend is drill weekend (hubby has to be on base) but today was special because a friend was retiring. Not baby friendly and we don't have a regular sitter so I didn't plan to go. However, I told hubs to not worry about it, go, have a good time. We had spoken briefly about going to get Mom's car so I could go to church tomorrow as well as show my boy a food time on his last day of summer. At 4:15, DH let me know the ceremony was over and they were heading to a bar on base to celebrate, he'd be late but not too late (he's usually home by 5:30). Around eight, I start sending '?' texts. Asked how it was going, etc. A nine I get a call (base is 45 minutes away). He's all excuses ("tried to leave for the last half hour"), talking about how he'd been trying to make sure his buddy, an infamous lush, had a ride back to his hotel, meanwhile forgetting his family has had no ride for the last 48 hours and, since my parents are not late night people, ensuring it was so for at least another 24. I. LOST. IT. I didn't scream but I definitely lost my Jesus for a minute. How is the man who is always so conscious of the feelings and comforts of his friends and father so forgetful of mine and his son's? He agonized over making his retiring friend know he'd be missed but isn't concerned that his son hasn't left the house in two days?? It's 95° in Georgia so we can't play outside much and Lord knows Mommy is usually too tired or nauseated to play... I wish I could remember that he does this every time he's out alone with his guy friends... His phone never works (dead battery, on vibrate) and no one ever just lets him leave. It's like he's the guy he was when we met but that guy only seems to come out when I'm out of sight and out of mind. He's not being unfaithful (he knows I'm way too crazy to risk that) but it still seems disrespectful. The worst part is that I'm treated like a nag or a crazy person when I get upset ("Really, Amanda?" "Oh my God, seriously?"). Sometimes I wish the me I was before we met could come out to fight on my behalf... He'd learn... But there's no getting Pandora back in that box. I swear, if he treats it like hormones when he gets home, I'm going to flip my sh*t...
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Hormones or Righteous Indignation??
By Amanda_McDaniel » Posted Aug. 1, 2015 8:41pm - 340 views - 10 comments
Okay, I need either some tough love or (maybe and) someone to talk me off the ledge. A little history: My husband is military but he's reserve (even he does way more than the one weekend a month, two weeks a year thanks to being a flight medic) and, when he's home, he works nights in the ICU of our local hospital. He leaves for work after dinner and typically makes it home before my son and I get up in the morning. As a result, we only have one car. It's a large sedan, good on gas, and has a low payment since he's military. I am a total cheapskate so I don't want another payment until I get back to working this Fall. My parents, who have two vehicles, work together so, if I need a car on the days DH is at the base, they loan me one of theirs. So... This weekend is drill weekend (hubby has to be on base) but today was special because a friend was retiring. Not baby friendly and we don't have a regular sitter so I didn't plan to go. However, I told hubs to not worry about it, go, have a good time. We had spoken briefly about going to get Mom's car so I could go to church tomorrow as well as show my boy a food time on his last day of summer. At 4:15, DH let me know the ceremony was over and they were heading to a bar on base to celebrate, he'd be late but not too late (he's usually home by 5:30). Around eight, I start sending '?' texts. Asked how it was going, etc. A nine I get a call (base is 45 minutes away). He's all excuses ("tried to leave for the last half hour"), talking about how he'd been trying to make sure his buddy, an infamous lush, had a ride back to his hotel, meanwhile forgetting his family has had no ride for the last 48 hours and, since my parents are not late night people, ensuring it was so for at least another 24. I. LOST. IT. I didn't scream but I definitely lost my Jesus for a minute. How is the man who is always so conscious of the feelings and comforts of his friends and father so forgetful of mine and his son's? He agonized over making his retiring friend know he'd be missed but isn't concerned that his son hasn't left the house in two days?? It's 95° in Georgia so we can't play outside much and Lord knows Mommy is usually too tired or nauseated to play... I wish I could remember that he does this every time he's out alone with his guy friends... His phone never works (dead battery, on vibrate) and no one ever just lets him leave. It's like he's the guy he was when we met but that guy only seems to come out when I'm out of sight and out of mind. He's not being unfaithful (he knows I'm way too crazy to risk that) but it still seems disrespectful. The worst part is that I'm treated like a nag or a crazy person when I get upset ("Really, Amanda?" "Oh my God, seriously?"). Sometimes I wish the me I was before we met could come out to fight on my behalf... He'd learn... But there's no getting Pandora back in that box. I swear, if he treats it like hormones when he gets home, I'm going to flip my sh*t...
Comments for this Journal Entry
 | Comment from Amanda_McDaniel » Posted Aug. 4, 2015 8:14pm Exactly. We have the same conversation about mutual respect at least once a quarter, it feels like. The only reason I am more merciful than I used to be is because I don't work like a lot of you ladies anymore. He works two jobs to let me stay home with our son (even though, minus military) he'll be Mr. Mom with this next one) and even put me through school. If he went out a lot, I'd be hiding car keys. Luckily, he's usually a home body, though he still doesn't seem to consider my feelings in most things, like tone of voice, mowing the lawn when I need a break, etc. I don't know, he excels everywhere else, it's just frustrating. |
 | Comment from Summer0120 » Posted Aug. 3, 2015 9:12am I guess I'm even crazier than I thought, because if my man did everything you just described even ONE time... he'd be finding a new place to live. I am not forgiving to guys who are inconsiderate. If I wasn't answering my phone or not home on time.. it would be WORLD WAR III. So I would expect the same respect in return. |
| Comment from Amanda_McDaniel » Posted Aug. 2, 2015 1:20pm Thanks, ladies, you helped me to calm down a lot. Isn't it funny how knowing you're not necessarily in the wrong can make you angry until someone has your back on it? To top the night off, my main man thought he was going to get lucky once he did make it home. *Snort* Men are something else, ain't they?? |
 | Comment from thomasanddawnxoxo » Posted Aug. 2, 2015 7:57am Even If you weren't pregnant you would have every right to be pissed... I'm sure he would expect that when you say something is going to be a certain way it would be so... You should be able to expect that too. |
 | Comment from adiggs » Posted Aug. 2, 2015 7:39am I would be irritated too. That sounds a lot like my DH! haha. Hope it all worked out for the best. |
 | Comment from Randall0123 » Posted Aug. 1, 2015 10:37pm Well let me play devils avicate sorry. But hubby did tell you he was going right? Yes it was a bit of a pain in the ass that he didn't come right home but I'm sure you had an idea of what was going to happen. If you know your husband is faithful and he isn't out all the time I wouldnt stress it too much. I have learned over the years that it is best to say something bothered you later then when we are caught in the moment. Trust me I have done my fair share of bitch in when I'm angry but trust me it doesn't get you far. I know your hormones are pumping buy take a deal breath remember that your husband loves you and the best thing for you right now is not to stress. But you have every right to be irritated just talk to him about it face to face the next day it makes a huge difference then over the phone. |
 | Comment from Cattsmeow » Posted Aug. 1, 2015 10:08pm Girl, you are not crazy with hormones. I'd be pissed, as well. It's not the same, obviously, but we're down to one vehicle for my family as the front axle of my husband's truck needs rebuilt and it needs a new battery. (The wheel is about to come off and it's just not safe to drive in the condition it's in.) My husband works from 4am to 2:30pm, so I'm stuck at home all day, with no way to go anywhere, with my 5 yo and 1 yo. It drives me NUTS when he stays late at work without telling me. Like Kitten, I have super bad anxiety and I always think the worst. So I believe you have every right to be pissed. Btw, I think it's totally awesome that your husband is a flight medic. I wanted to do that so bad while I was in the Guard, but unfortunately my state didn't have any openings for anything less than an E7, so I stayed a regular medic. |
| Comment from Kitten90 » Posted Aug. 1, 2015 9:25pm Exactly. I'm pretty sure he'd be pissed if the shoe was on the other foot |
