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Alioth's Pregnancy
My Due Date: July 22, 2018I have given birth!
Age: 41 years old
Location: Virginia, United States
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You know you're constipated when... :'B May 17, 2018 at 11:50 AM
By Alioth » Posted May. 17, 2018 10:53am - 272 views - 0 comments
Making light of the situation,
Alioth wrote:
Your cart at the grocery store looks like you're shopping for a rabbit, not a human
You do a happy dance whenever probiotic yogurt goes on sale
You take your laptop into the bathroom so you can listen to music and read an ebook while pooping
You shudder every time you see a flax seed because you know what it's like to overdose on them
You consider downing an entire bottle of Sriracha like it's a cocktail
You start looking into bidets just to save money on wasted toilet paper
Your sexy talk with husband has been replaced by potty talk
You gaze wistfully at the bathroom door every time your husband poops
You never leave the house without a 2 liter of water
You plot and scheme how to never wear pants again
You run around the house commando because even undies are uncomfortable
Your midwife says, "Ooo, that's not your uterus. What's that big hard lump over there?" while palpating your tummy
Before going in to do business, you open all the nearby windows
You try to schedule your bathroom times when nobody else is home
You take walk and stretch breaks while pooping
You give a coworker the stink-eye when they complain they haven't gone in ONLY 3 days when you've gone infinitely longer
You choose your wardrobe around how many days it's been since pooping
You agonize over the pros and cons of eating a tiny piece of cheese
You weigh yourself before and after going, just so you know what your average weight really is
You keep dried fruit in your purse right next to the fiber bars and giant bottle of water...
My Journal
You know you're constipated when... :'B May 17, 2018 at 11:50 AM
By Alioth » Posted May. 17, 2018 10:53am - 272 views - 0 comments
Making light of the situation,
Alioth wrote:
Your cart at the grocery store looks like you're shopping for a rabbit, not a human
You do a happy dance whenever probiotic yogurt goes on sale
You take your laptop into the bathroom so you can listen to music and read an ebook while pooping
You shudder every time you see a flax seed because you know what it's like to overdose on them
You consider downing an entire bottle of Sriracha like it's a cocktail
You start looking into bidets just to save money on wasted toilet paper
Your sexy talk with husband has been replaced by potty talk
You gaze wistfully at the bathroom door every time your husband poops
You never leave the house without a 2 liter of water
You plot and scheme how to never wear pants again
You run around the house commando because even undies are uncomfortable
Your midwife says, "Ooo, that's not your uterus. What's that big hard lump over there?" while palpating your tummy
Before going in to do business, you open all the nearby windows
You try to schedule your bathroom times when nobody else is home
You take walk and stretch breaks while pooping
You give a coworker the stink-eye when they complain they haven't gone in ONLY 3 days when you've gone infinitely longer
You choose your wardrobe around how many days it's been since pooping
You agonize over the pros and cons of eating a tiny piece of cheese
You weigh yourself before and after going, just so you know what your average weight really is
You keep dried fruit in your purse right next to the fiber bars and giant bottle of water...
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