Answered by a member - Jun. 26, 2012 2:41am
I think her feelings were hurt when you didnt appreciate and thank her for the car seat. I understand why you wouldnt want to use it, but its the thought that counts and i think it was a nice gesture. in her generation they likely didnt even use car seats! (at least not to the standards of today)
i simply would have taken it, expressed my appreciation, and then come up with a reason later why it hasn't been used. some as simple as saying "oh, we called the company, and this model is no longer up to standards"
my MIL buys us alot of things for our children. some things i would never put on them and some things that dont stay in the house any longer then an hour. the point is, i make sure she knows i appreciate the time it takes her to find these things, and she doesn't get hurt knowing i dont use half of it.
on the other hand, MIL really over reacted, but i think it was out of hurt feelings. i would let things cool off and apologize (in the hopes that she does as wel
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Answered by soontoB5 - Jun. 26, 2012 2:37am
cont.. acting out again , I totally understand, but if you dont put her in her place now it can get worse trust me...its funny my MIL tried to make my hubby have a vasectomy and she would pay for it and him with only 1 child of his own and he is an only child...now that I am having another she is already telling me to use huggies instead of cloth diapers and i dont need to breastfeed my baby just turned 1 and she is telling me to stop feeding him breast now, telling me he should be potty trained, he cant walk how is he gonna use a potty? ughh I plan on moving soon even though I own my home...smh
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Answered by soontoB5 - Jun. 26, 2012 2:33am
I know all too well about how Mother in laws can be...mine was way worse after the baby and it really sucks cause she lives next door she was mad that I was breastfeeding and she couldnt keep him so she goes behind my back and convinces my hubby the baby should be on formula "to give me a break" then I dont want pacifiers used so she goes and buys them, he didnt like them and she would try to force him to take it! Then I said I want to cloth diaper and she flipped out about that said thats too much work...then after my son was only 2 months old (my 4th, hubby's 1st baby) she tries to make him get a vesectomy!!! He told me and I was so mad I cried! Well about 2 months ago she said he was acting the way he was (aggravated) because he told her he doesnt want anymore kids, then looked me dead in the eye and says "he dont want anymore" she told me not to tell him, so I did, and he said the conversation never happened, well now I am 5 weeks 1 day preg and she is acting ou
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Answered by a member - Jun. 26, 2012 1:32am
well being angry with inlaws or anyone for that matter in my opinion is a waste of good energy, your inlaw may think she's doing a grate job however its never safe to buy used products when it comes to babies seeing has their are heallth issues and safety issues to take into conscideration, however we are sometimes not the most pleasant to reply to a situation especially if we have underline issues with that party and that is always a factor so i suggest that instead of texting her those rude uncessary text just wait it out apologies for saying what u di becas it does hurt when u seperate them from there generation even if just a thought or saying it hurts, i also hate when its just females or opposite party communicating alone with their relative ur husband needs to be involve in this. when u have a child or children in this world u always need someone so dont push her away ok, jus be humble and things will work out. ps i have inlaw issues too we all do, but smiling is much easier....
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Answered by emilykate93 - Jun. 25, 2012 11:46pm
we offered to let her use ours the we bought new or to buy an extra base but it still wasn't okay bc it wasn't the used one she bought.it was probably the text but at that point i didnt care i hadnt said anything about it yet to her and i was getting fed up with how she was acting but i can see where it would have pushed her over the edge. i am just going to wait for it to blow over and try not to worry about it. thanks for the advice ladies
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Answered by looney - Jun. 25, 2012 11:31pm
If it was a car seat she was going to be using in her car (which is what it sounded like) and she got a used one, I would have told her I would buy her one that's new because it would make me feel better. But... since when she has the baby, and needs the carseat, it would be a favor to you that she has the child, it would be courteous, if the seat she got wasnt good enough, to offer to buy her one for her car in exchange.
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Answered by liebekind - Jun. 25, 2012 11:21pm
I would let your fiance handle conversations with his mother from now on. She's his mom, so it's better for him to be the contact person out of the two of you.
I completely agree with not using that car seat. It's dangerous and against recommendations to use a car seat with an unknown history.
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Answered by a member - Jun. 25, 2012 10:35pm
I agree about the text, that's probably what escalated things, but obviously taking the car, etc. wasn't mature on her part either. However, I don't see how you'll be able to write her off entirely. Obviously you are dependant on her to a small degree (borrowing her car) and things may continue to come up after your baby is born. I think it's best to wait for this to blow over and try to find a way to make peace.
For my MIL, my DH and I offered to get her a car seat base for her vehicle so she can use the car seat we picked out. If she had mentioned getting a used car seat (even though I know that you aren't necessarily supposed to use used-car seats) I would have at least checked it out first and did some research on the brand and model number before freaking out on her. Where did she get it from? Maybe it's from one of her friends and she knows it wasn't in a wreck, etc.
I think you might have overreacted a bit (but so did she). Try to work it out in a few days.
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Answered by JessesGirl - Jun. 25, 2012 10:23pm
I dont think so. I know a few people who love to buy stuff at garage sales. Not that anything is wrong with that, but a car seat from a garage sale may be old and not within current standards. Not to mention, full of others baby puke and ickiness. Im sure it was, more than less, the text you sent that sent her over the edge. That part, maybe I wouldn't have done, because I would have said my peace before...but being drama and taking your car, etc...was a little much. Your hubby not getting to work=no money, which =no food, which =no food for baby. So, her actions were unthoughtful. Talk it out a day or so later, let her simmer down. I would accept the baby seat, thank her and simply not use it when the baby comes.
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