Questions & Answers

Having a new baby is tough even on really good relationships. The stress of a new life and the demands of parenthood can bring even the closest couples to the brink. It won't likely improve, especially once you have the baby. Consider your options, but you should think about leaving. Good luck to you

Cont....Married my second husband in June 2011 and I can tell you there ARE men out there who will treat you right! And will treat your kids right! I was lucky enough not to have any children with my first husband, but you need to think of them first. My ex was the way he was because of his parents. His dad was just like him and they should have gotten divorced instead of staying together for 27 years, because they did, their children now continue the cycle of abuse because it is what they grew up knowing. It will be hard at first, you will be sad and lonely, but in a few years you will be happy and you will look back and be SO glad you got away if that is what you choose to do. NO MAN LIKE THAT IS WORTH IT. It is domestic violence. He doesn't deserve you.

My first husband was emotionally abusive, always telling me I was stupid, ugly, fat and worthless. I put up with his crap for a year and a half and then it got physical. It started slowly, he would slap my thighs because he thought it was funny, or pull a hair out of my head because it was out of place...we tried counseling even though he said we didn't need it and I just needed to be happy. Then one night we got in a huge fight and he slammed me up against the front door and physically threw me out of the house. That was when I knew I had my chance to escape and I knew if I ever went back, I would never get away again. I was lucky enough to move in with my parents and I stayed there. It was a fight to get anything out of the house, but I finally did, stayed strong through it all and got my divorce. We have been done for almost 5 years and I am SOOOOO much happier without him in my life.

You sound like my Mom when I was growing up. You're not the only victim here. You kid and unborn child are victims too. When you think we're not watching or listening to the abuse, we are. It scars us for life. I lost track of how many years I watched my mom's emotion abuse transform into physical abuse. It's not right for you or your kids to go through this. Is this the relationship example you want to set for your kids? Your job is to look out for your kids and protect them at whatever cost. Even if it means protecting them from their other parent. Once my mom left that man she stayed single for a long time and now has the most amazing fiance in the world that I'm proud to have as a step father. I'm 27 and still remember my mother's abuse like it was yesterday. The words, bruises, things breaking, my life being put into danger and walking infront of a gun for her. It was hard for her to walk way from that. Now she wishes she would of done it sooner. Save your family.

Honey just because he hasn't dont anything physically violent to you doesn't mean it wont happen soon. I would go and see if there is family you can stay with . Its not safe for you or the unborn baby. My husband used to have a bit of drinking problem but now things are alot better and he hardly ever drinks and when he does he is just fine. Tell him that if he cant go and get some help then you will leave cause you dont feel safe. ..Good luck

I am responding to all of those who have replied saying they have similar issues:
my babies father has previous for domestic violence, none towards me. When i became pregnant Social services decided that the risk towards me/my unborn child was too great as pregnancy and new baby are risk factors for starting emotional/physical abuse. All contact with my now ex has been made to end and access will be supervised.
Ladies it is no coincidence that your partner has got worse now your pregnant, please for the sakr of yourselves and babies LEAVE if you feel at all threatened, the risk is too high.

I feel your pain hun, My husband is the same. He has anger problems, and for every little thing he says "if you don't like it, then leave". Over-all he's good with me but ever since I became pregnant, I haven't been getting any attention from him. I do cry every-day too, he says many hurtful things to me, and many, many times, I planned on leaving him. But I just can't take that step. I'm just being patient with him right now, I hope eventually he will come to reality and know that the world doesn't revolve around him.

i find it helps to write a letter in situations like this. sometime i have to "remind" my husband when certain behavior is not alright with me... i write it all out on paper, tell him what has to change and what will happen if things dont change. then i leave it where he will find it and go away to my mothers house for the night or even to the mall for the day. it will give him time to calm down and he wont be able to flip out at you after he reads it. and im sure with his alone time he will think alot about it, and read the letter about 10 times. it has always been a good non-confrontational way for me and my husband to get problems out in the open. he may not even acknowledged that he read it, but he may change his behavior accordingly. every mans different and what works for me may not work for you, if you ever feel like your in danger definitely just leave.

he need to go and speak to someone
what he like when he not angry
maby sit down with him and ask him why he get like he does
when he has one of his out burtst just walk away and leave him to cool down

every problem can sometimes be resolved
if it carriies on then prob best to leave just till he sorts himself out

That situation is not safe for ur child or unborn child, if it were me, I Wld leave, no one shld have to put up with that