Answered by kelliers - Aug. 13, 2013 1:23pm
I see your side, hopefulll, but he left his pregnant wife and already has a new girlfriend. The chances this woman hangs around are slim and I can totally understand being repulsed at the idea of this woman even looking at, let alone touching and buying things for, a child that is not only not hers but whose parents are going through something very difficult. I don't think it's nice at all that she wants to be involved, I think it's weird and inappropriate. Should they end up in some sort of long term commitment then something can and probably should be arranged but given the circumstances I can see where Jessica is coming from.
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Answered by KenpoMommy - Aug. 13, 2013 7:07am
I absolutely agree about getting legal custody straightened out now. Don't wait for the baby to be born and someone to change their mind about how friendly they do or don't want to be. Custody agreements don't just decide who the kids live with. They also decide important things like who makes school decisions, who provides medical insurance and who pays for what. Its great if he has a supportive girlfriend that wants to help but I think its a little too soon for her to be involved in anything. If or when she becomes someone more to him than a girlfriend, you will have to find a way to accept that for you kids sake. I'm sure you won't be single forever and he'll have to accept that too. I think you're perfectly within your rights to request that she not be present at anything like gender scans though. But legal custody first, emotional stuff after. Try to remember what's most important. Your baby and its future relationship with you and its father.
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Answered by number4 - Aug. 13, 2013 2:19am
I understand what you are trying to say and I do believe that father's should be invovled but she is only 19 weeks and with hormones included wounds are still fresh. Pregnancy should be as stress free as possible. His involement does not connect to a new giel friend yet. It's not healthy to bring parent figures in and out of kids lives. Until it is clear that it is for the long term. So in that respect I agree with the other ladies and get custody straightend out hopefully somewhat jointly but mainly boundries and security need to be handled. But keep in mind baby is number one right now help is always good and if custody is too stressful to handle right now then its time for you and your ex to have a serious discussion about the future.
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Answered by hopefullll - Aug. 12, 2013 9:22pm
No disrespect ladies! But this is HIS baby and EVERYTHING about her is his business just as much as it's yours . It sucks for you that he's moved on with someone else but this stuff just happens in life, it's a shame but it's reality, a huge chunk of relationships end whether or not kids are involved for various reasons. Now, I totally appreciate you not wanting her involved so soon but if she wants to buy your daughter things and love this little girl (her boyfriends little girl) then I think that's great. I know plenty of girlfriends who want nothing to do with the kids and actually try to prevent a father/child relationship so I think it's a good thing that she wants to foster that relationship. Think about it, if this girlfriend someday becomes his wife or long term partner wouldn't you want your daughter and her to have a healthy relationship for the sake of your daughters healthy upbringing? At some point you'll have to accept that this is his/your new life
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Answered by Luckymommyto5 - Aug. 12, 2013 8:38pm
You really need to stop involving him in the appointments for the new baby, you don't have to have him along and nothing about the new baby is his business, I wouldn't even tell him when the baby is born
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Answered by jyi226 - Aug. 12, 2013 7:01pm
I would definitely, like kelliers said, get a formal custody agreement written out. You seem like a really nice person for offering to stay friends for the baby's sake, so I wouldn't want you to get "walked all over" or let him see the baby more often because you feel bad for him but then later regret it. Best to decide the terms before the baby is born if possible!
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Answered by kelliers - Aug. 12, 2013 6:49pm
Oh hell no. At this point I'd be taking him to court to ensure he pays for his child and gets nothing else. The thought of another woman acting like it's her own really pisses me off. You are perfectly in line to vent about it. How does he even have a girlfriend already and why is she acting like she's so important?! Ack...I am so sorry that you have to go through that.
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Answered by vhemi4 - Aug. 12, 2013 5:32pm
I hear you, I couldn't go one night without my boys. I don't blame you no shame in the way you feel. They could be more sensitive to your situation. Ex or not, my husbands girlfriend is the last person I would want to buy my baby clothes. Good luck
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