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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by girlynurse17

Q: How to set visiting hours for baby's father (we're not together)?

I'm 35 weeks, and of course have been trying to hammer out the last details. Today I had a talk with the baby's father and realized he's expecting to be at my house pretty much all the time for the first few weeks after the baby is born. I DO NOT want to keep him from his son at all, but I'm also not comfortable with him being around that much and I don't think it will be helpful to me trying to settle in to mommyhood (since he can't provide any financial support I have to go back to work after 6 weeks so time is very precious).
Has anyone else been in this situation and if so what did you do to set boundaries? I don't even know how to broach the subject. Like, "oh hey by the way I don't really want you around that much when the baby comes, sorry you won't get much time with your newborn son". Any advice!?!?

This question was asked Jan. 4, 2014 6:14am
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answered by RhondaHunt - Jan. 14, 2014 11:56pm
I went through this with my son. I simply explained to him that this was my first baby also and I needed a little time to adjust and get used to taking care of someone other than myself. You need to be straight up and tell him I'm glad you want to be there all the time and be a good father but for now these are the hours you are comfortable with.

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Answered by jennavee - Jan. 6, 2014 6:14pm
I think the easiest thing to do would be to have a specific discussion about "visiting hours". Ask him what days he is interested in coming over and spending time with the baby. Have a plan and stick to certain hours. This will help you (give you a break, help you plan your day, etc) as well as give him a set expectation.
For example, you could do Monday/Wednesday/Friday for a couple of hours each evening and Saturday for a couple of hours. That way, as time goes on, it will flow well into a visitation schedule that you and him can continue.
If you are planning to breastfeed, be sure and take that into consideration for timing.

I hope that helps a little!

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