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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by Ilove40

Q: Libido out of control leading to almost daily depression/emotional struggles

My SO and I have sex almost every day which has been normal for us forever (I don't even want to go into how bad it is for me on the days we don't at all!).
But honestly I have an immense need I simply cannot contain, or ignore, to make love again almost as soon as we finish!I don't usually act on that need immediately, instead waiting hours usually before making another attempt.
Unfortunately for my self-esteem, he doesn't typically accept my second invitation of the day, leaving me filling up with tears on the inside, and hiding them if I can't hold them in.
I don't know how to deal with the daily feelings of rejection even though I understand he probably has no idea that I am being serious and how bad it hurts that he isn't taking me up on my offers.
This has led me to feeling that he doesn't want me as much as I want him, maybe that I'm not sexy enough, and a multitude of other crazy feelings and thoughts swirling in my mind.Can anyone relate? Need someone to talk to! Thanks.

This question was asked Oct. 3, 2014 5:00am
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answers (3)

Answered by lyssa7872 - Oct. 3, 2014 6:48pm
I can totally relate!! I'm like that in normal every day life tthough, not just when pregnant. Basically my husband gave me permission to get off on my own whenever I need to. I don't take advantage of it much, but it is nice that it's an option. Being open and honest with how you both feel is a huge help. And not judging one another is very important. I was afraid that if I took things into my own hands he would feel like he wasn't enough for me, or like i didn't really want HIM. but after talking it thru he realizes where Im at with things, that of course I would rather have sex with him than get off on my own, but that it's better for all of us when I'm not bitchy because it's been a day or two. The other thing is, if you guys can't or don't want to go that route you could talk to your doc about taking a low dose antidepressant that they use for Postpartum Depression. I was on it and it made my libido much more normal. Good luck!!

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Answered by darladybug - Oct. 3, 2014 12:40pm
I can give you a point of view from the other side. My husband and I are the same, but opposite. My libido does not match his at all. I am honestly good with once or twice a week and he could go multiple times a day. I love him so much, I find him attractive and sexy, I just don't have it. He feels/felt the same way for a long time. I have to talk to him about it a lot because he doesn't understand. For me, after he gets home from work and we put our son to bed I just want to relax. I want to connect more on an intellectual level. I want to talk, I want to cuddle I want to be with him without having to try to be sexy.....I honestly feel like that is all he wants me for sometimes. I feel terrible that I can't happily give him what he wants. I feel bad that he feels like I don't find him sexy. I know that you feel like he doesn't feel the same about you, but don't take it personally. Just talk to him.

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Answered by Ilove40 - Oct. 3, 2014 5:04am
I almost LOST IT tonight when I was clearly interested and he pretty much said he had to get ready for work, only to leave late anyway because he decided to bathe the puppy on a whim before leaving..in my mind "instead of making love to me." I guess I just have to remember that he made love to me this morning, realize our libido's simply do not match right now, and understand that he doesn't understand!

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