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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by Kitten90

Q: Awkward interactions and how to proceed???

So there's this lady I went to school with that I'm friends with on my Facebook.. we were never really that close but just like to keep in touch once in a while and see how things are going.
Well she got pregnant a few weeks after I did, and towards the end of the first trimester, she lost her baby. I've never had a miscarriage that late in pregnancy before, but have had multiple early losses in the past (in fact, lost one just 5 months before falling pregnant with this baby....) so I know it's devastating at any stage.

However, she's always commenting on my photos and stuff about how she would be so many weeks along today if she hadn't lost her baby, and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable and I'm not sure how to go about dealing with this? She has two wonderful children already and I went through three losses before this one... I'm trying to be understanding but I don't feel like she's being fair to me either.

Anyone have a similar situation or any advice?

This question was asked Oct. 9, 2014 7:02pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answers (2)

Answered by Kitten90 - Oct. 9, 2014 9:23pm
Thanks so much for the response! =)
It's so difficult because I've been through 3 losses myself so I understand the pain she's going through and I've talked to her about it before but she acts like I have no idea...
After my last miscarriage I had a really hard time dealing with it too, and3 of my friends were pregnant at the time so I got really depressed too, but I never went on their baby bump pics and commented about my losses because I don't feel like it's right to do so because I always wanted them to be happy and also to have room to complain. I feel like every woman has the right to complain about symptoms/complications without someone trying to make them feel bad

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Answered by Papas~Mama - Oct. 9, 2014 8:11pm
Can't really say I've had this experience before, but maybe it helps her in her grieving process to acknowledge what happened to her instead of pretending it didn't. Do you feel like she is trying to make you feel guilty? If so, I guess you just have to rise above and know that she is jealous, and you are blessed. Regardless of what she's saying, you have the right to be happy and to share your good news with whoever you want to. I had to realize that when I got pregnant, and my sister who's suffered 6 miscarriages the last 2 years seemed to not take it well, which was hurtful to me but part of me understands. I know that I have the right to be happy and excited about my blessings and that they are separate from her and her losses, and the same goes for you. You don't have to respond to her comments; you could also private message her if it gets too bad. Otherwise I think she may trying to identify with someone, and grieve, and maybe hold on, in a way.

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