Questions & Answers

Hi MDD!! I am sorry, I'm going to have to disagree with most of these posts in response to your question. I do not think that it is okay in any shape or form to participate in porn or cheating within a marriage. It takes away from the sanctity of marriage and the commitment you made to eachother on your wedding day. I don't by the "he is just a man" line. It is sad to me that the moral standard of men has been lowered to such a thing as basically sharing a bed with thousands within the confines of a beautiful marriage. You have every right to feel the way you do. And as much as it feels that way, it really isn't about you. It's about him and his addiction. Take Tiger Woods for instance and that whole situation...he had the most beautiful wife in the world but it wasn't about her. I would really suggest going and talking to a therapist if you can. Sometimes just getting an educated outsiders guidance can be so helpful! I'll be praying for you and your marriage! All the best!

Before we got married, my DH had a little problem with looking at porn when we were just dating. I kept finding it on his computer and would tell him how bad it made me feel and how it made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him. It was a constant fight with us, and finally he stopped doing it and I continued to check up on him and never found anything. Now that we are married, 2 years later, we enjoy it together sometimes. It's more enjoyable when you can both get something out of it, or get the mood going and such. I would say that if it continues and he seems to have a problem letting go of it, I would suggest seeing a counselor. Porn is an addiction for some, just like drugs, and so it would make it hard to kick the habit after doing it for so long. It can and has ruined marriages.

I wouldn't necessarily take it so lightly right off the bat if you said he's had a problem with it before. Porn is not always the worst thing, but if your DH has a hard time controlling himself, or if it interferes with your relationship it's worth talking about, not blowing off. My DH has dealt with it in the past, as well, and it ended up being a really big issue for us. It kept escalating and, while he never cheated on me, I feel like eventually he would have if he hadn't gotten control of himself. He actually sought counseling, and we went to a few sessions together.

If it really is something he struggles with, I think you both owe it to yourselves and your baby to talk about it.

Sometimes I just don't feel "in the mood"...tired, bloated, blah blah. Sometimes I feel fine, just not interested, those times, I try to initiate something...and usually I "get in the mood"...ya know? I feel like it's similar to smiling. Even if you're having a bad day, if you keep smiling it can actually make you happy!
I don't like porn, but maybe he's resorting to that because he doesn't want to pressure you into sex. Make sure he knows that you're in the mood (if you are). My DH tends to not initiate things when I'm pregnant because he knows half the time I feel like crap. And honestly, if I'm not feeling like getting busy, I tell him to enjoy some alone time lol!

Long story short, be honest about your feelings, initiate sex as often as you feel up to it, make him feel loved too! Men tend to get the short end of the stick during pregnancy!

nothing wrong with a bit of porn! ....why not join in with him? it may be just what you need to help with the return of your sexual appetite..... go for it - you never know, could be fun! Either way, he hasn't done anything wrong, you have to be aware that your hormones are all over the place and you may be being a bit oversensitive? I didn't feel comfortable having sex until I had passed twelve weeks as I was scared - but that didn't mean that my husband and I didn't satisfy each other in different ways...... hang in on there and you will be fine @) good luck

I'm a weirdo and would have issues with my hubby doing it too ;).

It would bother me only if I'm fully capable and up to it. If I'm feeling sick, or not in the mood then by all means go for it. Better porn than another woman!

Some men feel some kind of way about sex during pregnancy. If it becomes excessive I would have to express to him your feelings. Being pregnant can leave us in our feelings, so just tell him it bothers you and that it makes you feel like he doesn't want you verses computer love. Hope he gets it together. Lol

Thanks Mrs HT. DH and I actually talked yesterday about "dating" while married and having fun and then he doesn't even try to make a move or be intimate.. just jumps to porn! I know he's a man, but when he can have real sex, why choose a video on the computer?

Awe hunny, he a man. My husband of almost 5 years got caught with porn on his phone. We hadn't had sex in 11 weeks because I was afraid after the miscarriage but men are actually usually more turned on when you're pregnant. Your breast get bigger; you begin to glow and they don't know why they are so drawn to you, and if you have 1st trimester blues then they look for an outlet. As far as spicing it up in the bedroom, I'd say do things that are different. Play out a fantasy, pretend to be someone else (get a wig), went a hotel room and play like you just met him. Lol always keep him guessing. It may help. Most important have fun. You guys won't be able to enjoy the time it's just you both for a while. Relish in it.