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Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

Asked by Dabrila

Q: It feels wrong.

My boyfriend told me he would be out late entertaining clients for work. He came home at 3:30am drunk on a work night like it was no big deal. I had a suspicion that he had been lying to me. I was out of town for my baby shower and when I got back, I noticed female perfume in his truck and the seat was all different from how I normally had it set.
I went through his phone and found out that he met a stripper and had been taking her out on dates. I text her to find out more cause I know he would deny everything. She said they only met up twice, nothing sexual happened, but I still feel cheated.
He tells me he just went out with her because I'm not fun to go out with anymore because I'm pregnant and he misses how we used to be. We used to go out partying every weekend.
What do I do? I feel so insecure now.

This question was asked May. 8, 2012 8:02pm
Category: Relationships During Pregnancy

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Answers (17)

Answered by a member - Jun. 7, 2012 3:27pm

Kick his azz to the curb. I know from experience if they lie or cheat once about something so serious it is a never ending cycle. Find a man who has some class and integrity & respect for women.

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Answered by kawaimichiko - May. 19, 2012 5:29am

If your gut says it felt wrong then it's wrong. Never ever ever let a male type make you feel insecure. Daddy issues are only as big as you make them.

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Answered by a member - May. 10, 2012 11:19pm

firstly, I'm really sorry for what has happened to u. No woman deserves to be cheated. Just let him go, if u stay with him, you'll have doubts every single day. My husband cheated on me a while back (I wasn't pregnant though), I can NEVER forget the fact that he cheated, (it wasn't physical, it was online, this is cheating in my vocab) I forgave him that night but from that day on till now, I'm ALWAYS wondering y he has to stay late at work, what he does at work, I check his phone now and then too (I know it's not right of me to do that, but once a cheater always a cheater). I hope everything works out for you girl! NO woman deserves this kind of treatment!

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Answered by redhead628 - May. 10, 2012 8:35pm

I raised my daughter by myself. Her father gave up rights to her when she was 3. She will be 18 in July and has a great head on her shoulders. She is very leary of guys...especially the ones I dated. She actually can pick out the dirt bags before I can. If he doesn't want to be an active part of her life, you can't force it...trust me. You two can work together and still raise her in a healthy environment, provided there is give and take on both sides. If he doesn't just look at it this way....you can raise her the way you want and instill morals and qualities in her that he could negate. Take which ever way this falls as a gift. You can do it!

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Answered by Dabrila - May. 9, 2012 10:12pm

Thanks everyone for your support & advice. Unfortunately, I'm not in a position where I can just leave, due next month, unemployed & no family within 1,500 miles. I'm pretty much "stuck" until after my daughter is born. Although I would love to take him to counseling, we've had problems before.. he absolutely refuses. After this, I'm pretty sure I can never build the trust wall back to what it was, so I don't see myself with him forever like I used to. The worst thing is, I really want him to be a big part of my daughter's life since I saw my father very rarely growing up and blame all of my poor choices involving men or feeling a need for men on him.
This will be very difficult to get through, he says he wants to work on our relationship... Oh, and "Why a stripper?" My guess is cause not all of them have are in a relationship, they're usually attractive & since they work in the sex industry and flirt with men all day, they'll be easier and know th

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Answered by knicole27 - May. 9, 2012 2:15pm

Looney took the words right out of my mouth!!

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Answered by looney - May. 9, 2012 2:10pm

Forgive me, I'm sorry, I just noticed it said your boyfriend, and not your husband. I don't know why I assumed you two were married. STILL, before giving up on that dirt bag ;) (JK) you two need to work it out in counseling. ((hugs))

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Answered by looney - May. 9, 2012 2:05pm

I'm a little shocked how many people would instantly ditch their husbands, the father of their unborn child over this. Yes, it's wrong, and you have been seriously violated, but I think there is a lot more that goes into commitmant, and marriage. And I think you would be doing God and the sancity of your marriage an injustice to just "throw him out on the street" over this. I would contact your local church, and see if you can get into some marital counseling, whether you are religious or not, they will accept you with open arms. They want to save marriages. Your child deserves more then a broken family, and if therapy is what it will take to heal your marriage, I'd say it is worth it, well worth it over having a knee-jerk reaction, and changing your, and your childs life forever over some hurt feelings.

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Answered by Mary_asthred - May. 9, 2012 2:02pm

Dont be so naive...He does not deserve u. So u better be off with him..A cheater alwys a cheater..

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Answered by toshska - May. 9, 2012 9:56am

Make sure he doesnt twist it onto you. Just because you are pregnant etc. I real man will deal with it, Your not going to be pregnant forever.
Why couldnt he of made a guy pal and go out for a few drinks with him.. why did he have to make "friends" with a stripper..
Hmmm good luck honey, but if it were me i would of left by now.. xxx

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